We were able to visit the Mutianyu portion of the Great Wall today.  It was cooler there (we still sweat buckets!).  The sky was overcast and the mountains were shrouded in haze.  I truly love those mountains and today i got to see a side of them that I’d only seen in photos.  Absolutely majestic.

Samuel walked much of the way from the gondola to the slideway.  He truly impressed Stephen and I.  We are so fortunate to see his strength each day and then days like today show us how much farther he can push himself.  It honestly inspires us as much as all the other folks who stop and salute him with their praise. God has made him with an inner determination that will prove him so well.

Isaiah was honestly quite amazing too!  He is not yet two and yet he braves new situations really well.  Tucking into us rather than fawning for others attention. IT’s been so hot and we’ve been on the move so much and it really amazes us that he has chosen (yes – chosen, at his age) to make us his new trusted people.  He will learn to love us with time but for now this is so big.  Trust is so valuable and he has let us in.

Here’s where it hit me.

Without betraying the trust of others in the story.  We had the friend of a friend guide us at the wall today.  Our friend had asked this woman to take us in spite of the fact that her English is quite rusty and she doesn’t get out much anymore.  You see, she had lost her daughter awhile back and we were told that it had sent her into depression.  When we met her, she was pleasant but quiet.  As we arrived at the wall, she was unsure, but pushed through to help us and we really appreciated it.  She was obviously drawn to Isaiah and he was happily smiling and chirping at her from my arms.  And then she asked to hold him.  I held her off for a time, but he was happy and I wondered if it would help her heart a little, and so I broke our one cardinal rule.  We never, never hand off our new kids to others outside our family trust circle for many, many months until the attachment bond has begun to take root.  That rule has been firm from Garnet, to Grace, to Samuel.  It was even something we held fairly fast to with James and Faith as babies.

But it felt right and when we took a break he continued to sit on her lap while I fed him snacks.  I held his hand and played peek a boo with him as we walked.  And then I took him back into the baby carrier and slid down the mountain on the bobsled ride.  He was quiet and seemed pretty happy afterwards. Stephen and I had a couple items that we knew we wanted to buy from the vendors while we were there and so with my parents helping Samuel farther up the hill and both our hands full, I handed Isaiah back to the woman. We carried on our shopping and she was with us to help.  Finished, we started towards the van. Stephen and I were chatting and she was right next to me.  I turned away for what felt like a second and then looked back and she was gone.

Like GONE gone.

I called out his name in the sing-songy voice we’d been using all week and no response.  I whirled around and started dodging around vehicles looking, looking for them.  No sign. I could feel the panic rising and I called out to Stephen that he was gone.  He started looking.  He ran ahead.  No sign.  My parents and Samuel came up behind us and asked.  No sign.  I ran back to the vendors and from the panicked look on my face and my voice as I loudly called and called out Isaiah’s name in that sing-songy voice, they came out of their booths calling to each other in Chinese, “Where is her baby?  Where is her baby?”  I ran back to the parking lot and Stephen called down from the vehicle in the upper lot, she’s not here… oh wait!  There she is!  Behind you and to your left!  I looked and looked and finally I saw them.  I ran to her and grabbed my baby out of her arms.  Oh my heart!

And then it hits me.  I love him.  Like REALLY, REALLY love him!  I am Mama Bear.  And nothing will get in my way.

Did she intend harm?  No.  But in her own way she did as she wanted and wandered off with my son.

MY son.

I know I hurt her.  And it was never my intent to do so.  In fact, my intent had been so good towards her, I had reached out to her, breaking our family rule.

And all afternoon I was so close to tears.  I was really aware that something had changed in me.

I had bonded to Isaiah.

{The photo today is not the one I thought I’d be posting today, but it is one Stephen took from the upper parking lot just after I had reclaimed Isaiah and started the walk back to the vehicle.  Maybe I can catch up on the other part of our day at the wall, tomorrow.}

We’ve been in Beijing for a couple days and our internet has been sketchy at best.  I’ve been fairly wiped out, as well, and I needed some extra sleep the past couple of days.

Our final day in Hunan was spent sifting and sorting luggage.  We had picked up a fair bit during the past two weeks and needed to get rid of a bit too.  We had lunch in the second floor Cantonese restaurant before getting in the van and heading to the airport.  My Mom teased the driver and told Vicky, our guide, to let him know we were heading to the forest in the Western region – a four hour drive one way.  His face spoke of his shock!  We got him good.  🙂

We had a really great group of tour staff for those two weeks in Hunan.  Stacy was helpful and could roll with our questions.  Matthew had such an understanding way about him and really understood our sarcastic Canadian wit from his two years in Canada.  Vicky was wonderful to see again and was helpful with our new baby.  And as illustrated above, even though we couldn’t exchange conversation with our driver, we did a fair bit of bantering and conversing anyway!  He was very kind with Samuel and a big help to each of us over our time there.

During our last trip to Hunan, it was one of many, many stops and it felt like a blur.  Returning there and driving back roads and seeing so much more of the region has given Stephen and I an equal appreciation for Hunan along with Ningxia and Guangdong.  We are so thankful to have had the opportunity and were left with a list of things we’d like to attempt to experience the next time we visit.  Honestly, the very best part of China is the people.  The longer we spend here the more we love the fact that people are people wherever they live. Having the chance to truly appreciate the areas that our kids are from and learn to love them, speaks to them that we love not only where they are from, but who they are.  They will always be Chinese and Canadian.  Being here and then pouring over the pictures and reliving it all at home with them long after the memories have faded into their childhoods, helps them plant roots.  Sounds pretty big for a couple weeks time, but we have seen the benefit to our kids again and again.

We arrived at the airport and began the check in process.  Unfortunately, we were told that although Air Canada had booked us all the appropriate tickets, Air China had booked us into lap tickets?!  Crazy!  A visit to the supervisor cleared that up and our bags were checked in.  However, when it came to the paper voucher for Isaiah’s lap ticket, we were told that it was invalid and so off Stephen went to another desk and then back to the supervisor.  In the end, a new one was issued for a fee and we had about 20 minutes to not only get through security, but get to the other end of the airport for our gate.  And let me tell you, while we have had  nothing but courtesy at each of the airports we’ve travelled in Canada, the USA and China, it takes a bit of extra time for them to scan Samuel’s prosthetics and crutches!  Add in the stroller, baby carrier and infant, and all of our electronics, well, it was a mad rush to the gate!

We galloped up to the gate (the last one – 50 of 50!) and found that the airplane had been fully boarded, save us, but they called the plane and they held it.  Then because of the gate checked stroller, they called for another bus and escorted us with two pilot cars and a handful of staff to the plane.  We made it and got our bags stowed just in time for Isaiah to decide that maybe skipping his nap was a bad idea.  LOL!  Ah well, he settled after awhile and as we were getting ready to de-plane, the people around us were kind.  The whole thing makes for a good story.  🙂

And this is where it feels like coming home.  We got our luggage and around the corner we say one of our familiar Beijing guides, Faye (who is married now, for anyone reading this from our other trips) and the familiar “Panada” flag.  She had a van waiting for us and we headed to the hotel.  Yulin (our agency director) was there waiting for us and as usual, she had everything more than sorted out for us.  We headed out for a quick meal and when we returned she had us booked into bigger rooms.  We are totally spoiled here.  No, really.

The next morning we ran into a few families from our group and Yulin and Faye (and Mr. Lee) had Isaiah’s Visa photo taken and his citizenship part 2 paperwork filled out for the Canadian Embassy.  Everything is streamlined here.  We also had our adoption group photo taken on the stairs (fourth time for us, so it’ll be fun to have one for Isaiah too).  The families seem nice.  Everyone seems to have little ones this trip (born 2011 and 2012) so it’s quite a different group.  I guess we do too this time.  🙂

We have completed the official process now and we just wait in Beijing for his Chinese passport with the Canadian entrance visa in it to be returned to us this week.  Once home, we send off for his Care card (he’s already got access to BC medical officially now as he is our son), Citizenship card (he’s already a citizen once the part 2 paperwork is finished, but we are trying to expedite the printing of the official card so he’ll be able to leave the country with us for Samuel’s surgery in October), his passport, and his SIN card (so he can get a job, of course).   😉

Later that day we braved the Hong Qiao Pearl Market.  I really “needed” a new purse and have been hanging on until I could get here.  Mom seemed to “need” one too.  The men and boys headed to the Toy Market.  And that’s all I’ll say about that.  Oh, except, as usual, we one of the vendors not only trioed to rip off Mom’s thumb, break my wrist and then proceeded to tell us she hates us.  🙂  All in a day’s trip to the pearl market.  LOL

Last night we walked across the street and had supper in the food court and the shopping centre and bought a couple more electric fans.  We left our apple fans in Changsha.  It had rained the night we arrived and the pollution was caught up in all that evaporation.  Blech…cough…cough  Today was gloriously clear and HOT!  But it lacked the humidity, making it a lot more like home.

This morning we went to the Panjianyuan Market aka the Dirt Market.  At its best early Sunday morning, it was busy.  Can’t say a lot about this either (somebody might be reading – haha).  It was a successful hunt though.

And I think that pretty much covers the past couple days!