29
Sep

Great news day

imageimageimage image imageFirst visit at hospital for Isaiah. Tremendously encouraging prognosis.  An obviously well verses team. Casting on his left arm and bothimage image imagelegs already today. Isaiah spoke directly to us and told us his troubles but no regression or aggression and no overt symptoms of trauma.  Hugely thankful as we were concerned specifically about that. He’s very uncomfortable tonight. On T3 and Advil but he is dozing now. It was tough on him but we have renewed hope. The overarching vision is for him to walk. His arms are being readied for greater use and self care. So different from what we were told from his first team. His body will determine how far he can go and no one will truly know that until they try. The plan involves a number of trips over the coming years and further casting and surgeries. We will be here for some time yet but it will be worth it to know he has a chance to improve his physical life.

The day began with an early sunrise drive and tomorrow is the first day of school for us (structured work), not to mention Isaiah has been waking every so often, so I need to sleep.

Such an encouraging, exhausting day! (By the way, Isaiah chose his own cast colours. They asked him which colours without showing options and these are the two he wanted. He knows his own mind.) (Oh, and the top photo is of Garnet on the porch practicing his TKD kicks while Dad holds the target.)

 

 

19
Sep

Well, that was worth the wait!

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What you can’t hear is Samuel saying, “I like walking!”  You also can’t hear the most wonderful clicking noise as his new knees activate with nearly every single step. You also can’t hear the missing squeak-thud of his crutches with each movement. Honestly such a surprise! We thought he’d just be getting a refit!

 

Oh yeah. And we drove up to Cannon Beach for lunch at Mo’s and to play on the misty, warm, soft sand.

Suddenly the appointment seems a bit more significant.  🙂

Now we wait in bumper to bumper traffic. We need to drive back over to Red Robins so we can pick up a credit card we left behind. I think we’ll be ready for supper once we get there.

24
Aug

The voice of Fatigue

I am so tired.

Like wiped out.

I just wrote the most wonderful post. And the deleted it. By mistake. Honest.

We headed from Regina to Dryden and stopped short in Winnipeg. The two voted “Most Likely to Squabble” did right on the Manitoba border. No, really. We were trying to take a picture at the border and all chaos ensued. We may be featured on social media everywhere as our van tends to draw the eye of passing motorists as it is. The squabbling gang at the rest stop probably held attention after the initial glance.

We pulled if together and all 8 piled back in the van. Stephen announced about 4.5 hours to go and I cried uncle. We got a couple hotel rooms and ordered pizza in. James and Garnet went swimming and we enjoyed Melatonin all around. Don’t judge me. Remember, I’m tired?

As I told one of the kids today, this trip is about two things. Number one is sightseeing. Number two, making their lives miserable. Number two is actually as truthful as number one. A state of misery (come to Jesus speech anyone?) leads to strife. Strife can only lead to resentment or resolution. We are hoping to walk them through resolution.

Then again. I’m tired.

23
Aug

Entrust Your Loved Ones to Me

The title of this blog post is from today’s devotional reading from Jesus Calling. As so often, today had me from the title.

We drove the highway from Calgary to Regina today. Lots of silliness and goofy pics (none of which are in this post today – sorry!). The prairies are truly so pretty. And honestly, the kids had some Minecraft to catch up on. 🙂

We have one kiddo who has always struggled to receive love that is offered. This child will through their arms around you and be all smiles, but the second we turn away is quick to draw negative attention with mean and provocative behaviours. We truly, deeply, madly adore this child but it has been a struggle today to draw close and know which way to create an attractiveness to our relationship so they will draw close in return.

The title really reminded me of how much I need to entrust this child to Jesus. His love is the most attractive, loyal and truly winsome. I am thankful, tonight, that He was there to remind me.

18
Jul

Returning Home, part 2

DSC_6507 DSC_6508 DSC_6584 DSC_6618 DSC_6623When we arrived in at the Yueyang County SWI, we were let into the gate and pulled up in front of a shiny, new, several stories high building.  The old orphanage had been only used for offices for some time, as the children had all been fostered in the neighbouring area.  The new building was designed to house the offices and the children.  We were told that the children’s home was still being furnished and completed, but that the children would be returning soon.  They had begun building it shortly after we’d visited in February 2011 and had only moved in recently.

We took the elevator upstairs and were warmly welcomed by the staff, one of whom we had spent time with during our initial visit, as she’d come to process Samuel’s adoption.  We were ushered down the hall into a meeting room.  Samuel was much fawned over and we shared stories of his progress, as well as the photo book we had brought.  There were many framed photos waiting to be hung on the walls of the new meeting room.  They each featured returning families on homeland tour visits.  It was fun to see all those photos of tweens and teens returning to visit their roots.

Samuel’s file was brought out without us asking and we were able to see original photos of him as an infant.  The youngest photos we have of him to date.  (He has hardly changed!)  We appreciated the information we were offered and took photos of everything.

There was much laughter and smiling over Samuel’s attempts at showing off his new walking skills. There were also many gasps as he tried many stunts near the glass topped coffee table.  We all were trying to protect his noggin’ from the tile floor and table! But, I think he got his point across.  It had been a good idea to send him to Beijing and to have his paperwork processed for international adoption.  We were happy to have them see him so full of little boy spunk and strength!

All of a sudden his foster grandmother came in holding a small boy’s hand.  She was exclaiming in excitement to see us all again and we her!  Big smiles, handshakes, hugs and happiness to see each other!  The little boy (in split pants, much to Samuel’s amazement) was her grandson (25 months old).  The last time we had visited, her son had just been married and this was his son.

Much laughter, showing off, snacking, and kisses ensued.  Samuel was less than impressed with the kissing, but he was rescued by his Dad and all was well in the end.

We then headed off around the corner for a relaxed lunch.  Samuel and his “cousin” faced off across the turntable at the table and had that food spinning.  By the end of the meal, the little guy was fast asleep and Samuel was in a trance like state in the stroller.  Both had full tummies and were surrounded by happy chatter and smiling faces.

Joining us at lunch was another staff member and her two “nephews” (according to our guide, “Stacy”), which were in actual fact nieces.  The nieces had studied English in school and while they could understand much of what we said, much like myself with Chinese, they were too shy to use much of their English on us.  I did manage to get the one girl to tell me that her English name in school was “Vivienne”.  She blushed mightily and laughed behind her hand when I told her that Vivienne is considered a name for beautiful girls.  She took the teasing well.

After a few photos at the orphanage gate, we headed to the foster grandparents home.  Samuel enjoyed handing out his hand drawn pictures for them, as well as the photos and other gifts we had brought.  He warmed up to his foster grandpa and shared the fact that his tooth is wiggly (he is convinced that it is a sign that he is growing up).  He sat on his knee for a bit.  They served us the best watermelon I have had in my entire life.  It grows here in the south prolifically and really, as with all food, is best eaten close to its source!  Samuel and his “cousin” played with the boy’s plasma car and other ride on toys.  The family’s daughter came home and we found that she has also been married and is expecting.  The son and daughter live at their parent’s home with their families.  The little guy really warmed up to us by the end.

Samuel did not want to leave.  I was so pleased that he enjoyed his time there.  I did say to him as we left, “Can you believe you lived in this house when you were a baby?”

“No”, he said.

I understand.  It’s a bit much for me to take in, let alone a 5 year old.  After all, sometimes, it’s hard to imagine a time without him.  And I suppose that is why these trips back to visit our kid’s homeland areas are so very valuable.  It’s so important to not forget what is so integral to who they are.  Not Chinese.  Not Canadian.  Not even, Chinese-Canadian.  Rather, they are Chinese + Canadian.

Samuel’s foster grandma and cousin joined us for a quick photo op at the finding spot.  And then off we went back to the city, exhausted and emotionally spent.

Was it too early for a return visit for Samuel?  It all depends on what the goal was.  Did he gain value and meaning of his past?  Yes, but not at the same level as if he had been older.  Will it provide continuity for his next few years as the questions get wider in scope and deeper in meaning?  Absolutely.  As I posted on Facebook, he has a deeper sense that this is his wider, global extended family.  Because really, that is what they are.  They are no less related than we are.  The legacy of love they gave him from his infancy lives on in the way he has opened his heart to us.

 

17
Jul

Returning Home

Samuel returned to his second home yesterday. We had the privilege of driving out to Yueyang County from the city.

We took a new to us road and it led through incredible pastoral beauty. Rice fields. Lotus blossoms. Mountains. Fish farms. Water buffalo. People out hoeing. Vineyards. Cement tombs in the hillside.

And an incredible amount of heavy duty equipment.

There were farmers lining the roads next to their vineyards selling grapes (HUGE – think Caleb and the spies). Yards and yards of bricks drying in the sun. The earth is incredibly orangey-red here and they dig it up with all that equipment and make it into bricks. There are enormously red chimneys protruding into the blue sky here that mark the kilns. Their contrast against the green treed mountains and that gorgeous blue sky was eye catching, like something out of national geographic.

There was evidence of timber harvesting too. Logging trucks that were much different than what we see, but get the job done. Lumber yards with de-limbed, de-barked uncut logs leaning in teepee fashion to dry. We saw them fashioned together in that state as trusses. No straight cut planks here.

Outside the city there are factories. Fans, heavy equipment, pharmaceuticals. Not as many as we saw in Grace’s southern city (Zhongshan, Guangdong), but with their obviously western input – landscaping out front and tall office windows facing the street. The Chinese style factory dorms reminded us that they are staffed by nationals though.

And then we got to Yueyang County itself. The first street lights we’d seen in awhile on the main streets. People casually strolling across the traffic with their children. Motorcycles and cars and public transit with nice bench coverings for those waiting.

The outskirts had repair shops for all that heavy equipment. And rice harvesting/threshing machines. Tire shops.

Then we got a bit further in and saw folks out front of their street side homes with wheat-coloured rice laying on the payment being raked over and dried.

A little further and we saw signs of tall apartment buildings being advertised. Wide thoroughfares that were not busy. Signs of hopeful growth to come, I suppose.

And then all of a sudden I recognized the street corner that we had taken a photo of two years ago. The big cargo truck, cab raised for repair. Was that the same truck as all those months ago? Men gathered around and under it?

We pulled up to the gate of the orphanage and were told that there was a new building. We’d been told that they were in progress last visit. They are bringing the children home to the orphanage shortly. Disbanding the foster system. Let me say. We were told the are twenty children in foster care now (19 last time). This is a big, big building. We were also told that it is only children with extra needs. Time will tell.

16
Jul

If Variety is the Spice of Life….

Then Hunan didn’t get the memo! Here it’s all spicy or it just ain’t from Hunan.

Love the food though. We craved the spicy green beans for the past two years. And now I can claim to have eaten goat. All those years teaching Indo-Canadians and I finally caved. Tasty! Especially with the spicy seasoning. Are you catching the theme?

It’s so super hot and humid, that we bought fans for our hotel rooms. It’s a bit like walking into a wall of humidity. I am loving the chance to do different. Last time was Lunar New Year and while others were layered in thick coats, I was in short sleeves.

Samuel is doing really, really well. He’s overwhelmed a bit by it all, but has held himself in check better than we expected. It’s a lot to sort out at five and a half years old.

Quote of the day comes from Samuel as we drove the expressway between Changsha to Yueyang City, “We in my China world?”

Yes, son. Here we are.

Tomorrow we make the drive to Yueyang County to visit Samuel’s hometown. We will be visiting the orphanage staff and his foster grandparents, and are really looking forward to getting to know them a bit better now the initial adoption meeting is behind us. They seem very genuine people that really adored Samuel.

Please pray for Samuel. We hope he receives the blessing that a big, messy, global family can bring him. And for us, that we can keep the respect and lines of communication open between us. It can only help him as he matures.

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28
Sep

Been thinking about…. being a Truth Teller

This girl surprised me tonight.  Actually she’s been surprising me a lot lately.

I had to leave for the evening and I left her elder siblings in charge of the herd.  Birthday season is on a roll in our family and I needed to do a little shopping without the kids.  When I got back and checked in on each of them, I was truly surprised to find a tear stained little girl waiting for me.  She had convinced herself that I was taking a really long time.  So long, in fact, that I must have been in a car accident or suffered some other terrible end.  So long that she had gone through half a box of kleenex and made herself get the hiccoughs.

She poured out her heart to me.  Told me all about how she had begged God to bring me home.  Asked me (not for the first time) about what would happen to her if I went to Heaven first.

I am choked up just writing all this.

It’s tough stuff.

Stephen and I have always tried to tell our kids the truth (Okay, except for that one subject involving a jolly old elf in a red suit… but that’s another story for another time.).  It’s something that we’ve taken a lot of flack for over the years from family and friends.  But that’s just us.  We aren’t very skilled at finessing a fine story when our kids ask us a pointed question.  And early on it just became the most logical thing to tell them the truth when they have questioned us on things.

Why do I have to eat my veggies?

Why does that man use a white cane?

Why does the neighbour lady stumble funny when she comes home late at night?

Why did the policeman take away that man?

Where do babies come from?

Will you ever die?

{What will happen to me if you die?}

Now there’s a show stopper.

Each of our kids has wondered this allowed during their preschool years.  I don’t honestly know if this is age appropriate thought material or not.  Perhaps we breed morbidly focused children?  Regardless, when it has come out of their mouths, we have told the truth.

“Only Jesus knows, but here’s what the plan is no matter what and you can trust us to take care of you.  You can trust Him.”

And off they would go.  Sure it would come up again if a friend or aquaintance that we knew passed on, but honestly, it seemed to be enough.

For Grace?  Not so much.

It seems as though a lifetime has passed for us with our girl.

I chose the photo for this post on purpose.  I really love the camping dirt.  The chubby toes.  The relaxed grin.  The lounging girl in the hammock.  Such a picture of carefree innocence.

Such an antonym to the churning worry that lies beneath her surface.

I could go on about how trust takes time.  How she’s been let down before by those who should’ve been able to protect her from the leaving abandonment.  There I said it.

But what really hits home is the contrast.

She goes about her days happy as a clam.  Flitting from fairy to pixie.  And underneath lie the questions.

Am I safe?

Am I worthy?

Am I loved?

I don’t have the magic truth that will be the balm to her soul.

And so we dance the dance.  Parry the questions.  Again and again and again.

And maybe the best I have to offer is in my willingness to waltz when she asks.  Meeting her toe to toe.  Looking deep in her eyes.  Letting her read my very soul.

Being a truth teller.

And again and again and again.

I love this girl.

She is my heart.

And she is so very, very worth it.

 

19
Sep

Something left to give

 

I stayed away for oh so long from my blog.  Recharging?  Regrouping?  Hiding?  Not sure exactly.

There was a time after we adopted Grace that we were online A LOT.  Keeping connections alive.  Those invisible life lines were so necessary.  And it was draining on me.

Those days were followed by the whirlwind adoption of Samuel.  More online obsessing.

And suddenly my life felt dry and tired.  So much of the joy of interacting with friends online, jotting down family anecdotes and my heart that desired so much to do more for the orphan and widow, was just sucked dry.

I was dry.

I needed a fresh new start.  And so did the blog.

As for me, I bought myself a new Bible.  Rejigged our whole homeschool.  Dejunked my home base. And decided to freshen up the blog.  Make it more functional.

It’s not all there yet.  The Bible, the homeschool, the minimizing of the house – they each deserve their own post.  The blog is still under construction (my fault not my wonderful designer’s, who I’ll introduce very soon), but I felt the need to get on here tonight and get the ball rolling.  I’ve got something left to give.  And here I go!

21
Jun

Stephen Opens Up

Well it looks like it’s three posts about Stephen in 1 week.  Definitely a new record for me.

Anthony over at No Greater Joy Dad, husband to the lovely and talented writer, Adeye of No Greater Joy Mom fame, has posted a testimony from my own dear “Reluctant Husband”.

When Anthony began publishing his “Daddy Blogger” blog, I followed and then sent his link to Stephen.  He’s been hooked ever since.  If you read Stephen’s post, it’s worth it to scroll back and read through the other earlier posts (there aren’t too many yet, as it’s a fairly new blog).  He’s been doing a whole Q & A series on reluctant dads.  Very interesting stuff, especially for this wife.

Click here to read his post.

Oh and comments would be good.  He was more than a little nervous to be sharing his thoughts.  🙂