To China in a few days

After a long, long wait beginning in November 2012, we are finally a few days from flying to meet our Isaiah.

So much has happened over the past few months. I honestly have not struggled as much during the waiting period for any of the other children (and that includes our birth kids). I logically tell myself that it is the fact that approvals were coming in fast during the early days of our wait and I had gotten my hopes up, but in fact I think it was the uneasy quiet I felt in my relationship with God.

While I knew He was there and I was engaging with Him daily. It’s been many months since I truly could say that I had heard His voice.

Ironically, it was in the last few hours prior to hearing that our approval was to be granted that I finally knew He had spoken through His Word to me in a truly clear way. Or should I say, He’d spoken and I’d actually been aware of it, as the quiet isn’t indicative of His lack of relationship with me, rather it tells of my brain and heart clutter that had prevented my hearing Him.

The word He spoke was from Psalm 5:8.

Lead me, Lord, in your righteousness
because of my enemies—
make your way straight before me.

Make your way straight before me.

I had been struggling for Him to make MY way straight before me. Totally different angle there.

I am so thankful that a short time later He granted our approval from China to adopt Isaiah. But truly more so, I am thrilled that He made this clear to me before the approval was granted. This has become my heart prayer the past hours. I am holding to it. I can’t do this on my own.

Lord, make Your way straight before me.