Oh, not the one most parents would think of. No birds or bees here. Well there was some of that, but – oh whatever.
The talk I’m referring to is the story of my youngest daughter’s beginnings. She was baby role playing with me (a normal thing for her and I that I believe is giving her a chance to catch up so to speak.) and I had the opportunity to take it one step farther and once again bring up her birth parents.
Before now she would always look at me with that look. You know the look. The one that says, “Haha, aren’t you a funny Mommy. I like make believe, but can we move on to a new subject?”
But this time, I again recounted as much of her story as I have been told and I took it a step farther. I drew pictures. Ahem. So I’m not a brilliant artiste. She really engaged with me in the drawing. She helped me with details, asked me questions and then we had an opportunity to talk about her coming to Canada, her feelings, the works. But the best part? The fact that she and I were finally able to talk about it.
You see, I had broached the subject previously. I’d rehearsed openly with her as she was in the early stages of English Vocaulary development. I’d spoken of other babies in our family. I’d used all the correct (or should I say, consciously chosen)terminology in front of her. And then all of a sudden, tonight she had that curious sort of look that said, “Tell me more, Mom.” Finally she got it.
And you know what she told me? No one had ever told her this story before.
While I am delighted to be the one to engage her on this level, I am pretty sure that she has a variety of ideas as to how she came to the orphanage. I’m sure she heard plenty. Was it her own personal story though? I doubt it. Did not knowing about the fact that her life is on a path and that her destiny was to be more than the orphanage life as she knew it affect her determination not to want to meld with our family? Yeah. I’m pretty sure it added to it.
But (and this is a big BUT), I am so glad that I got to be the one to talk to her about God’s bigger plan for her. God didn’t create the trauma in her life, but he is definitely the redeemer and the ultimate healer of wounds. I can’t be the balm she needs, but I can keep leading her back to the One who has a special plan for her.
It was a good talk.
Beautiful post Shelly! I’m so happy to hear that Grace is asking questions and more importantly that God is giving you the answers to satisfy her precious heart. God definitly has a beautiful plan for these precious children.
This is beautiful. I hope I can only do it as well as you have here. I need to come back and read this post over and over. Right now S is fantasizing I think about her time in the SWI. Her words are few, but when she tells us about living there … well the stories are very *rosy* with her having “pink dogs” and “lots of ice cream to eat.” Yeah.
Thanks for sharing. I love your blog!
What a special moment for you both! You are so right about not being the balm for her trauma! I hope I can a remember your post when I am helping Addison through “THE TALK” Thanks for this amazing post!
Blessings,
Kim