Have no fear – Samuel and all of our little (and big!) people are doing well. Life is returning to normal. If anything, this has been the easiest addtion we have ever weathered. As I said to a friend in an e-mail today, the toughest bits of Samuel’s adjustment have involved his silent refusal to eat at the odd meal (not a big deal as he tends to make up for it at the next one) and the fact that he cries himself to sleep clutching one of my hands for about 10 minutes at each nap and bedtime. I count that as amazing considering the upheaval in his young life!
No – Samuel giggles and sings and chatters through his days. Honestly, I don’t know how we survived without him in our lives. What a mischievious little treasure he is!
But that is where the title for this post comes in. Pain and Hope. Loss and Love. Devastation and Grace. That mingling of the two is what I am pondering as I go about my days since coming home. One seems to come with the other and it’s more than I can fathom. How can I say, “It is well with my soul.”, when it is not really the truth. Not yet.
Friends in pain. Illness, death, loss, questions like “Why?” and “What will the future bring?” My heart aches from the pain of the loved ones around me. And yet it is so full of joy in my ever growing family.
And again, I realize that those two things Pain and Hope go hand in hand. Without the Pain, would I look for the Hope? And as my Hope increases, aren’t I better able to withstand the Pain?
No absolute answers from me yet. But just a little glimpse into my thoughts.
Katie says it best on her blog Kisses from Katie. Her March 4th post was like having my thoughts burst open on the computer screen. She says it so much better than I ever could. And I would say from her writing, she is a fair bit farther down the path than I am.
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Still trying to wade through the over 10,000 photos I took and the hours and hours of video. If I owe you an update or some media, I’m sorry! Unfortunately, when naptime hits it is still school time and in the evenings I am still trying to catch up from the jet lag. I’ll tame this beast once and for all… but probably not tonight.
Good Night!
I’m glad you are there to hold Samuel’s hand.
Oh that breaks my heart to know that he cries himself to sleep as he misses his nap time routine that he had at ND whether it is his bed or the routine or just the people that he knew that he remembers when he pauses to rest … but how BEAUTIFUL that he holds YOUR hand while he makes a new routine!!
Such the role of a mother to hold hands during transitions in life!!
He is so strong. And so are you!
Hope the blessings continue to grow for you all!!
–valerie
About pain and hope… yes.
SO glad he’s in your family, Shelley. So grateful to our Father for bringing you all together. Praying the transitions continue to go well.
Shelley, happy to hear you all are settling in with Samuel. I’m so glad that you can sit and hold his hand as his little mind struggles with falling asleep. Perhaps worried about what might be different or who might be gone when he wakes up. The more he sees that you all are there as a constant as he awakes, he will start to sleep better, I imagine.
It is so interesting that you mention “It is well with my soul” in your “Pain and Hope” post. the author of that song wrote it in the midst of the worst pain imaginable. He lost all of his children and wrote that song as he traveled by ship over the area where the were drown. He could say, “It is well with my soul” in the midst of tragedy knowing his Lord was grieving with him. I wonder if I could too?
Praying for you all and your transition. Blessings and peace!
Oh Shelley ~ this post resinates deep with me. I am feeling you COMPLETELY!
For little Samuel ~ I am SO glad you are there to hold his precious little hand as his tender heart continues to grieve and transition. And I’m glad you are there to enjoy his mischievious little spirit and soak in his sweet smile and shower him with your love, as you surely recieve his in return. What a gift for both of you.
About “Pain and Hope – go hand in hand” ~ SO TRUE! I’m seeing it surround me, just as you are. But I’m so grateful that the ultimate ‘pain and hope’ came in the biggest gift imaginable… Jesus. It’s because of His pain, that we all now have HOPE!
God bless you, friend! Can’t wait to hear more about Samuel and see pictures of him at home. No rush. When you have the time. We know he’s in loving hands and we’re just happy for all of you. Jetlag and re-entry is BRUTAL. It took me over 3 weeks to find any sense of normalcy with my sleeping patterns and energy levels. But our precious children are Ohhh SOOOOOO worth it!!
Blessings and Hugs,
~ Tanya
You are so articulate Shelley…and while my heart aches for all that these little people have to go through I know that on the other side is the security of belonging. Each of you will be going through a transition and my prayers are for each one of you as you shift and settle with your little Samuel. God bless you all with a real and tangible peace. I love you!