30
Sep

1st Day of Homeschool 2014-2015

I was pretty pleased with how today went.  That’s not the case every year, but I have been becoming more and more convinced of what our kids need to know versus what I thought they should know.  This is so important when speaking of the education of asynchronous learners. Progressively it has been getting easier and easier each year to hold to our educational path and stress less over checklists and envy over others’ experiences.  I asked the kids at supper to rate how they felt today went and how they thought the year ahead would be.  It was overwhelmingly positive.  I think that speaks for itself.

On the other hand, I forgot to snap some first day photos.  Can’t win ’em all.  There’ll be time for first week photos yet, I’m sure.  🙂

31
Aug

Halifax Discovery Centre & Peggy’s Cove (a tonne of random photos)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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30
Aug

Halifax

IMG_1524 IMG_1534 IMG_1545 IMG_1547 DSC_3155 DSC_3148 DSC_3157 DSC_3160 DSC_3162 DSC_3164 IMG_3028We drove like crazy people yesterday, stopping in New Brunswick for an amazing and carbohydrate filled lunch at Potato World.  Honestly, we needed those spuds more than they needed us.

We’ve come to the conclusion at this point in the trip that Canada is truly astonishing.  It is more rural than we could’ve imagined.  More spread out and in need of good communication than we could have dreamed.  I mean, we know these things.  In many ways, it’s what makes us Canadian.  Perhaps that friendly spirit we are famous for is because of the desolation and loneliness?  I don’t know.  Okay, maybe not ALL of Canada is quite like that, but it seems like we drive and drive and then all of a sudden, oh look!  there is another pocket of civilization.  Quite a contrast form our recent trip to China!

We’ve found friendly people everywhere.  So many are openly encouraging of our little jaunt east and the fact that we’d bring our kids large and small on a trip like this.  Just when it feels like we might really have bitten off more than we should have, we get a little bright ray of sunshine from a fellow Canadian and it brings it all back into focus.

Today was a day like that.  It started with a trip to the walk in to have Faith checked out (it appears that her lymph nodes are swollen and not to worry), followed my some monkey business from a couple of the herd.  We recouped and headed to Timmy’s for a bite before our visit to the Harbour.  We all felt a bit wiped out.  We headed to the Maritime Museum first.  Took in the exhibits about the Halifax Explosion, shipwrecks and sailors lost at sea, a dying way of life, followed by an exhibit on the Titanic.  Honestly, it wasn’t the cheeriest time we’ve had.  We were doubly tired and I had wanted to head over to one more place, Pier 21.  Doggedly  we drove down the harbour front and walked into the Canadian Museum of Immigration at Pier 21.  What we didn’t know, was that our day was about to change.

We paid a small admission and headed upstairs to the exhibit.  We were greeted by a young woman with a heavy eastern european accent.  She brought out legos for the kids to build with and got us ready for a tour starting in a few minutes.  We gathered as a group with others and  were unprepared for the amazing tales ahead.

Over 1,000,000 immigrants were processed through Pier 21.  Ships from all over the world with people hoping to be admitted as Landed Immigrants.  Initially Canada had a policy of allowing only those that could be easily assimilated into Canadian society (read, white, western europeans, folks from Newfoundland  during pre-confederation (!) and Americans).  Over time, others were welcomed and the policies changed.  Tragedies occurred in the meantime.  While we had heard of the Chinese Head Tax and the ship filled with hopeful refugees from India that were held at bay in Vancouver’s harbour, we hadn’t heard of Mackenzie King’s denial of some 900+ Jewish refugees just prior to World War 2.  They were sent back to Europe.  There are records that 254 were killed in concentration camps and the other roughly 700 suffered horrible atrocities.  This formed a bit of a wake up call to the immigration policies in Canada.  There was a protectionist feeling during the depression, but post WW2, the feeling of a global connectedness formed.

Another aspect that changed the face of immigration in Canada were the War Brides and Grooms (yes – grooms, who knew?). Of the 500,000 Canadians who were involved in active service in WW2, 1 in 10 married a foreign spouse.  48,000 wife of servicemen entered Canada in the years following the war and brought with them 22,000 children.  These new immigrants brought with them a new surge of immigration in their wake.  My maternal grandparents and my Mom entered Canada around that time.

We found out that 1951 was a huge spike of immigration from the Netherlands and while it was a popular thing at that time, it was not a guarantee of entry nor was it stress free upon arrival.  I found it fascinating as we have heard stories the hardships that they faced once here, but what their first days in Canada would have been like really filled in a puzzle piece for me.  While they would have been well cared for, the confusion and simply the chaotic mess of it all would have been overwhelming and utterly exhausting after an already stressful goodbye to loved ones at home and a long steam ship ride to Canada.  No matter the provisions offered, it would have been a lot to take in.  No Google or Skype.  No guarantee of a friendly face once being given that highly prized ‘Landed Immigrant’ stamp on their passports.  A long, gruelling, expensive train trip west to major cities (in my Mom’s case, Winnipeg).

We left that tour and headed to a meeting hall filled with flags from many countries around the world and a large Canadian flag, made of puzzle pieces ,hanging as the centrepiece.  The young woman from earlier joined us.  Her name was Natalya and she, too, was newly immigrated (2.5 years ago).  She is a teacher by profession, but was given the job at Pier 21 for 6 months as a training period to gain work experience in Canada. She loves her job there and the kids really enjoyed meeting her.  Grace in particular commented how she was also a new immigrant and drew the connection to herself.

A number of people in our tour group had immigrated through Pier 21 and the guides told other stories of people who had found relatives, or even belongings, on display that belonged to themselves or a family member, while visiting the museum.  This led us to heading to the research room.  A number of guides were there to lead individuals through the process of finding information (landing records) for themselves or a relative.  I was unable to look for my family’s records.  Somehow another guide allowed Stephen to find his Oma’s.  I am not sure how!  Perhaps he made a personal plea, but my guide had told me that due to privacy laws, we would need certain proofs of family  connection.  Interesting.  I had a wonderful time looking through their bookcases of material and huge collection of fiction and non-fiction works on immigration in Canada.  So many fascinating stories.  I may or may not have added to our van’s weight today.  Books are hard to pass up.

The kids spent at least an hour on building Boxopolis.  A city of their own creation out of boxes.  A dream exhibit for a kid!

We wrapped up our day on a bright note.  After stuffing ourselves silly (no really, Isaiah has a hollow leg), we were driving along out of the Harbour district and I grabbed Stephen’s arm, “You’ve got to stop!”  What was it I saw?  A game/comic book store (Monster Lounge Comics – highly recommend it!).  There just may or may not be a couple new additions to our family’s game hoarding collection when we get home.

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Bookend vignettes from today:

Samuel loudly and with gusto told the tour guide at the beginning of our tour, “My family drove a LONG way to get here and we all hate it!”

A young docent at the end of our Boxopolis time let me know that all the staff in the museum were whispering about our family.  Apparently we were the highlight of their whole summer because working in a museum can be boring at times and the kids were so enthusiastic.

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A few more tidbits:

One of the couple’s in our group had an interesting mix.  The wife had come into Canada in the 1960’s through Pier 21, and the husband?  His family was one of the original French settlers in the 1600’s!  They live in Nanaimo, BC now.

A couple of our guides were exceptionally fascinating.  An ex-olympic figure skater (not sure which one, sorry!) was there and brought in a pairs outfit to show another guide.  One of our tour guides was a young man in wheelchair who is affected by Cerebral Palsy – he asked the best questions and was extremely knowledgable about the material.  Our guide Natalya?  She’s been in Canada 2.5 years, said goodbye to her 65 year old Mom to come here. Her Mom is sick back in the Ukraine and Natalya does not think she will be able to get back to see her before she passes.  Her Mom told her to stay.  Canada is the land of her dreams.

It still is folks.  Let’s not forget it.

 

 

29
Aug

22 years ago, I was my son

We drove from Ottawa to Riviere du Loup yesterday. On the way we drove through the little village that I lived in during the summer after high school graduation. The government had given bursaries for anglophone and francophone students to learn the others’ language. Oh Canada!

Anyway, being back there with James at the same age as I was then reminded me of everything I thought and felt and believed. Talk about a good reality check for me. 17. Interesting age.

We drove around and saw all the places I remembered. Ate at a diner that was built in 2002. I think the Poutine trailer used to sit there. 🙂 My spoken French was not a good investment but I understood a fair bit (even things I don’t think I was meant to hear :).

We stayed at a super contemporary hotel last night that reminded James of a scary movie he’d seen. Grace and I closed out the Walmart and IGA for supplies.

Kids are still doing well. Tempers only flare when Samuel touches Isaiah or when we finally pull into a rest stop and the person desperately in need just needs oooone more second to save their game. Ha!

I plan on taking Faith to the doctor tomorrow morning. James’ computer will need a visit from a geek, as well. We’ll be in Halifax for the next few nights so hopefully we can rest for a bit from all these crazy driving days.

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27
Aug

Still truckin’

While Steve covers the quips, the daily homeschool journals cover the facts (and more – too cute sometimes!), it seems this blog is covering my emotional state. 🙂

Doing much, much better. Had some sleep, did some laundry, made some reservations and have unabashedly been sneaking bites of chocolate every hundred kilometres of so (was going to say hundred miles, but lets be realistic here).

We’ve had some shocks (nearly crossing into the US without passports), realizing we need those passports for our ferry to Newfounland (thank you, Mom, for having them couriered to us!), and then there are those roadside bathrooms (I don’t think I need to elaborate).

There have also been those moments when all we could do was laugh like when we had to try out five different restaurants in Sault Ste. Marie before heading to Timmy’s because none of said restaurants had room for us nor kid friendly tablecloths (wuuuuuuhite!).

Over all we are ready to get to the vacation part if this trip. Most days there is quiet in the van, chaos over our picnic lunch and then a mad scramble to settle into our rooms for sleep. I am loving the changes in scenery. The kids are absolutely amazing me with how the are following along on the map of the landscape of Canada. Total pay-off,right there.

Please pray for Faith. The last couple days she has developed first one painful bump on the back if her head followed by a different feeling one behind her ear. No obvious sign of entry from a tick or other insect, but the fact that spot number two has shown up is concerning. No other symptoms though. Thank you!

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19
Sep

Something left to give

 

I stayed away for oh so long from my blog.  Recharging?  Regrouping?  Hiding?  Not sure exactly.

There was a time after we adopted Grace that we were online A LOT.  Keeping connections alive.  Those invisible life lines were so necessary.  And it was draining on me.

Those days were followed by the whirlwind adoption of Samuel.  More online obsessing.

And suddenly my life felt dry and tired.  So much of the joy of interacting with friends online, jotting down family anecdotes and my heart that desired so much to do more for the orphan and widow, was just sucked dry.

I was dry.

I needed a fresh new start.  And so did the blog.

As for me, I bought myself a new Bible.  Rejigged our whole homeschool.  Dejunked my home base. And decided to freshen up the blog.  Make it more functional.

It’s not all there yet.  The Bible, the homeschool, the minimizing of the house – they each deserve their own post.  The blog is still under construction (my fault not my wonderful designer’s, who I’ll introduce very soon), but I felt the need to get on here tonight and get the ball rolling.  I’ve got something left to give.  And here I go!

21
Sep

Back to Homeschool

With the numerous interuptions and false starts we’ve had this Fall, today was finally the day I declared the official “Back to Homeschool” day.  Somehow with all the physio appointments, homestudy visits, clean up after our various home projects, our first day kept getting pushed back. Our kids always start back a week after the rest of the local school kids return to class.   Usually this is our “Not Back to School” celebration involving a trip to a very quiet mall in which to shop for fall clothes, one last trip to the beach or to Grandma’s pool in the middle of the week, and it usually gives me some extra time to get the rest of my straggling to do list all caught up. 

Without further ado, here are the somewhat smiling faces of this year’s class of students to Beacon Rock Homeschool.

First, we have James.  Entering Grade 10, at least a foot taller than last years photo and sporting a lot less hair, he has chosen his Star Wars Role Playing Guidebook as his favourite memorabilia item for this season.

 

Next up, we have Faith.  Also showing that summer growth spurt, she has chosen her favourite pet, Sparkle, and the latest script that she has authored, a sequel to her first show, Hannah’s Doom. 

 

Now we have our newcomer to the world of first day of  “Back to Homeschool”, Miss Grace.  Grace has been excitedly asking for us to begin for some weeks now, and she chose as her favourite item, not only her Princess dress, but also her fairy wings (courtesy of cousin E.).  An elegant choice, don’t you think?

 

Last but not least, we have Garnet.  This will be Garnet’s first year of full day homeschool with us.  He is unsure if that is a good thing at this point in his career, but he is unwilling to let it get him down.  He eagerly chose his Indiana Jones sword and his “frog gun” (it apparently turns all items in its path into… you guessed it, frogs.  100% for spirit and imagination, my delightful First Grader!

Won’t you join me in congratulating them? 

It looks like a great year ahead!

18
Sep

And life moves on…

Well, after feeling like the wind got knocked out of us on Thursday, we carried on.

We continued on with our home improvements, carried on with business and connected with friends.

I also got back to settling into my school brain

It’s a seldom talked about fact that it takes the homeschool parent just as long to get back into the swing of things as the students.  I’m sure its across the board with all parents though. 

Anyway, here’s my new favourite homeschool-help-type link:

Ministry to Children

Ministry to Children is an exciting new resource that I came across while looking for Bible story colouring pages awhile back.  They have a whole variety of things there, my favourite being the list of easy to learn memory verses.  We’ll be beginning our next week with Proverbs 30:5, “Every word of God proves true.”   Nice and simple for Grace to get her early English around and also simple enough for Garnet to say without stumbling over a tonne of syllables.  Easy and simple.  Works for me (and its not even Wednesday- ha)!

26
Aug

James (Homeschooling: How we do it – part 2)

(Scroll down if you are wanting to see what James will be using for curriculum this year.)

May I begin by saying that, yes, James is aware of what I am about to write about.  🙂

When James was born he became, as all eldest children do, our parenting guinea pig. 

When we began our homeschooling journey, he again filled that role too.

Whether he liked it or not.

He was a pretty inquisitve kid and had interests that ran deep.  

He also struggled in the beginning and we had to work hard to find out what would not only help him reach his potential, but we had to work to keep that inquisitive nature alive in spite of his struggles.

Around the age of 8, James, who had been fighting to learn to read, all of a sudden came up to me with a Tin Tin comic and began to read the captions to me.

 

I knew that there was pretty much nothing that I had done to help him get to that point!

We had burned through phonics programs like they were newspaper in a campfire and nothing had seemed to spark the understanding that would lead him to find meaning in the letters and ,words.  And now suddenly, there he was reading as though it was no big deal.

I was stunned to say the least.

But reading or no, he still struggled to then produce his own written language and I began to notice that while he was able to pick up on political humour and sarcastic wit in the storyline of those Tin Tin comics (if you aren’t familiar with them, here is an overview thanks to W*kipedia ), he would skip words, translate words into some synonym of what was actually written on the page, and sometimes, he would pronounce words as though the letters were rearranged. 

And that was just his reading.

His writing was also very scattered.  This was across the board in both his handwriting and in his meaning.

At this point I knew we needed help, but I just wasn’t sure who to turn to.  I had a bright boy that had already been to see our family doctor about with concerns that he was struggling with an attention disorder.  He would hyper focus on things one minute and the next minute he would be unable to concentrate at all.

Not long afterwards 2 things happened.  We attended our homeschool convention and I found a fellow who was able to evaluate James’ abilities and also his potential diabilities and see how they merged together.  I am so thankful to have found him!  

For one, as we found out more about why James was having a tough time in some areas, we could balance it out by affirming him in areas that he was gifted in.  And gifted he was.  Suddenly we saw that our son who was unable to read well at age 8 was also functioning in many areas at a much higher level. 

They call this being “2e” or twice exceptional.  A perfect melding of giftedness and learning challenges. 

This opened up a whole world for him.

He was given the label dyslexic (involving his reading), along with dysgraphic (involving his writing) and as having dyscalcula (involving his ability with numbers and math). 

But on the flip side…

He was also shown that he has an incredible photographic memory, is deeply strategic, but he is also extremely visual spatial.  It was these abilities that enabled him to stockpile an enormous vocabulary throughout all those months and years that we struggled with phonics and yet consistently read to him from novels, picture books, instruction manuals, magazines, his Dad’s textbooks and yes, even comics (although not Tin Tin.  Those he had borrowed from the library and had pored over on his own, funnily enough!). 

Let me swipe a couple of comics from some of my favourite books in order to show you how his mind works.

 

James pictures the end result and is able to find his way to the end within himself.  Most of us are more sequential in nature and tend to go through a step by step process.

The way James learned to read is much more like the girl pictured above.  He has a strong visual memory and he can access it at a terrific speed.  He does not have the need to process words in pieces (decoding as reading instructors would call it). 

He has an inate ability to think outside of the proverbial box too, which gives him an edge in strategic thought, but also in creative thinking and seeing patterns in the world that most folks aren’t able to see without prompting.

Oh, and that concern over his attention?  While we do have a genetic link to ADD in our family, so much of his hyperfocus can be attributed to what is often called “flow” – actually a very good thing in a gifted person! 

(More about flow can be found in the book, The Mislabeled Child.)

The tough part with being able to both process words extremely quickly, memorize large amounts of vocabulary based on context and as well as be able to comprehend material much beyond his age, is that sometimes his brain works too fast.  He misses things, infers things that aren’t there or reads more into things than what is presented in the material.  He finds it very challenging to read through and understand directions or instructions that tend to be very short, without a lot of repetition or without a lot of contextual information.  Tests are excrutiatingly painful.  Workbooks aer often done incorrectly.  And then there is the physical act of writing.  He has long ago switched to completing most assignments either orally or on a word processing program on a laptop. 

But, we figured out what made him tick, what he needed to succeed and what his strengths are.   

And the best part is that he hasn’t become discouraged through it all.  He views his “labels” as tools and as a piece of himself.  He knows that the visual spatial part of him is some of what makes him special and along with it comes an ability to feel empathy, see strategically, think outside the box, be project oriented.  Yes, the dyslexia comes with it, but he is the first to admit that although he has had to fight hard to learn the same things as his peers, he is really proud of himself and thankful that God has shown him these things at a young age.

We’re just plain proud of him too.     

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Sooooooo, for how we homeschool him…

James is definitely an independent learner. 

He loves to read and process large amounts of information that way. 

 He finds it tedious to rehash things in the form of comprehension activities or questions, but he will gladly debate or dialogue over things he has read. 

I find it difficult to engage him on that level when he is in the midst of his school day (limited time, other distractions), but, oftentimes in the evenings he and I will play a game or spend time together when the other kids are in bed and Stephen is travelling.  It’s during those times that we can really get into some of what he is learning and break it apart and get to the crux of it.  I have had to bend my expectations of when school is and when it isn’t. 

Also, for his writing, he types.  A lot.  He can write a lot more efficiently when he types as his working memory does not have to be used up with the mechanics of putting pen to paper.  He is capable now, at this older age, to use a paper and pen to get things down on paper, but the end result is much more tiring for him and as a result there is less “meat” to his finished product.  Even without using a spell checker on his computer, his spelling tends to be a lot better when he doesn’t have to involve handwriting. 

One other thing I want to mention is that James needs a bit of background noise to work and get into his “flow” or hyperfocused state.  His grandparents bought him an iT*uch this past year and it has been invaluable!  It is portable and he can get right into his work no matter where he is or what else is going on in the house.  As his school day is longer and more intense than that of his siblings, it helps him tremendously to stay in the groove and get things done.

James has high hopes for his future.  He aspires to work with young children and has determined that one day he wold like to be self-employed.  Aside from the regular school work that he does, we try and accomodate ways that give him experiences towards those future goals.  Again, that means that we bend our own expectations around when, how, or what schooling is throughout our week. 

James has been a great first student and did I mention, we are so proud of him?  🙂  

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If you are interested in some of the methods we have used to help James to strengthen his reading fluidity, feel free to e-mail me:

[email protected]

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2010-2011 School Year (Curriculum Overview)

  1. Old Testament Reading Guide, The Bible Jesus Read, by Phillip Yancey & Sonlight Core 100 Bible
  2. One Year Adventure Novel writing project
  3. Life of Fred Algebra 2 & Geometry
  4. Literature reading & discssion lists (history related)
  5. Apologia Biology with labs
  6. Canadian & US History (using Modern History Through Canadian Eyes as our guide & Sonlight Core 100 to complement it for the US portion)
  7. Mandarin at our local college
  8. Foods & Nutrition (online via our school of registration)
  9. Poetry, Art Appreciation & Shakespeare (we work on these as a family during our Tuesday Tea Times)
  10. Physical Education (hours log)
  11. SAT prep
(I reserve the right to change this, add to this, throw this completely out the window and start fresh at any time.)  😉

 

25
Aug

From Teacher to Tutor to Mentor (Homeschooling: How we do it – Part 1)

From the title of this post I am sure most of you can gather much of what I am about to share. It seems so simple now, but it sure wasn’t very obvious at the time!

I started out homeschooling our eldest at age 4 (that’s James at the top of this post).  You can read more about our decision to begin homeschooling and why we have continued on, by clicking on the “Home Education” tab at the top of the page.  At that time I was a bit nervous, but mostly excited and full of determination that this was the path that we were meant to follow.  Of course, my view on what I would be doing during our homeschooling day was pretty clear in my mind too.

I envisioned sitting at the kitchen table, the happy, fresh scrubbed face of my son shining up at me, ready to take in all I would teach him.

I was his teacher.

Yeah.  You know where this is going!

Instead I had a busy 4 year old who wondered why his Mom was suddenly set on pinning him to his kitchen chair and pushing workbook after workbook under his nose.  Oh sure I tried this project and that curriculum, but really all that boy wanted was to be allowed to get back to the business of being a boy!

Not only that, but as the months and years wore on, although I had long given up on both the kitchen table and most of the workbooks, suddenly I realized that my bright little boy just wasn’t learning.  And worse yet, that very bright, inquisitive spirit that we had so badly wanted to hang onto with keeping him at home, was quickly disappearing too.

I knew that something had to change.

I began researching ways to help my son with his unique learning challenges and began finding therapies and training that would help him.  As new methods and materials were being gathered to teach him, I suddenly realized something.  Much of what I was doing in our learning time was less and less about teaching him from my list of educational goals and learning outcomes by using many helpful tools such as this Chegg answers free website.  Instead, it had become much more of a one on one learning time that was tailored totally around what he needed.

I was his tutor.

Along came more children and subsequently more labels.  And with those labels, came more therapies.  More individualized lists of therapies and treatments.  Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the individual needs of my students.  It was a simply math equation.  A certain number of hours was needed to complete all their therapies and regular mainstream school work, and I only had, well, a much lesser amount of  actual daylight hours to accomplish it all!

What on earth was I going to do?

About the time I was ready to throw in the towel I read something online that piqued my interest.  It was all about apprenticeships and mentorships for young adults exploring their career goals.  Something clicked!   Now here was something I could wrap my head around.  I could teach my kids their lessons and train them individually in their therapies and then after a time of boundary setting and laying the groundwork, I could release them to carry out their tasks and therapies while coaching them.

I was their mentor.

So, what does this look like for us?

In the beginning of any new therapy or material we are working with, I spend, for example, an hour teaching about it, going through it step by step, making notes (in pictures or words) on the process that will be needed to do it.  That day may require that other schoolwork is lessened for that child.  Over the next 3 or 4 days (depending on what we are training them in), we practice carrying this out.  Each time I lessen the amount I do and increase the amount they do. Finally we come to a point where they are doing 80% and I do 20%.  The time that they are spending carrying out the task, I am available for questions, but they are expected to try and carry things out as best as they can on their own.  Sometimes I will select one of the other kids to be a buddy or helper in case they need it.   That way there is one more person that they can come to with a question or for an extra pair of hands.

I am amazed at how the kids respond to this.  There is something really empowering for them to be able to complete their work on their own.  And it gives me the freedom to move on and work with one of the other kids at the same time.

Does this cover all areas of our schoolwork?  No.

Does it all happen seamlessly?  Ha!  With 4 kids?  I’m not superhuman!

But, I am much more able to handle the tasks we have and much more able to also have time to focus on each of the kids’ characters, interests and giftings.

We even get to have fun once in a while. 😉

And it makes the decision of curriculum choosing much simpler.  Now curriculum must fit us, rather than us fitting the curriculum.  I look for resources that really compliment the mentoring ideal and as a secondary focus  the tutoring way.  It has to be a special pet interest of one of the kids for it to involve a lot of teaching from me, and then, I look for ways for it to be used for at least a couple of the kids at the same time (yes, you can use the same resource for a highschooler and a preschooler).

It’s all about the mindset.

And when my head is where my heart is,  my mindset is that of a mentor.

Questions?  Comments?  What journey have you undergone in your teaching?  I am always open to tips and new ideas and I’d love to hear yours!