4
Mar

Challenging Day

We ended up travelling with all 9 of us to and from Yinchuan.  Samuel works better with everyone at his disposal and it was great to have everyone there to support Garnet.  Unfortunately, this morning, both girls woke up with bad colds.  Grandma is still recovering from one she caught last week (all three were sharing a room this past week).  Samuel refused food and slept through breakfast.  After his impromtu nap, he rose to the challenge and downed 4 sausages though.  We rearranged some of our plans and had a slower morning, a Hot Pot luncheon including an interview with a local journalist (“Surprise!” our guide sprung on us as we drove into the restaurant parking lot with sick and tired and rumpled kiddos – Oh well!) and a tour of the Wetsern Xia Tomb site and museum in the afternoon. 

This evening, we arrived at the airport and attempted to check in only to find that some of our tickets had odd comments attached and so we almost missed out on our flight, but for the diligence of our facilitator and our guide.  Yay!  Then we cleared security (they let Samuel be carried through this time and thankfully didn’t confiscate our liquid cold medicine or “Grandma Soap”/hand sanitizer) only to find that our flight had been delayed two hours.  Many odd gift shop food iems later, Samuel took a long crawling tour of the departures area and we finally made it onto the plane intact.  Half the kids slept or dozed.  The other half caught a meal on the flight. 

After sending four of us in the first taxi at the Beijing airport and almost being charged highway robbery for a van-taxi, we found a regular cab driver who would take the remaining 5 of us in one cab (the cabs are only supposed to take 4 passengers).

Arriving at the hotel we found out that our gear was still in our rooms, but our key cards no longer worked.  The front desk quickly made new ones up and after picking up some gifts left for us at the Concierge desk courtesy of our dear facilitator and friend, we made our way upstairs.

Soft snoring is calling to me from the other side of the room. 

Off to Guangdong tomorrow afternoon. 

Good Night!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please pray for health and rest for our bunch.

We received some information that we hope to persue for Grace, just this evening.  Pray that God would move clearly one way or the other on her behalf.

Pray for Jia Yi who I referenced in the other posts (Yinchuan).  She is a very special little girl who very much deserves a forever family.

Pray for my brother and his family who are holding down many forts with us all gone.  They are all very ill with strep and eye infections.  Healing, rest and encouragement for all of them. Love you guys.  Thank you for everything.  It had meant so much to all of us. 

Love,

26
Feb

State of the Nation

We are all doing really quite well for only having been a family of seven for eight days! 

That being said, here is what that really means:

  1. Samuel is becoming more needful of Steve and I to be in close proximity to him.  He becomes more concerned if one of us has to leave the room.
  2. Samuel is eating and sleeping marvelously.
  3. We are completely out of his element and he hears people speaking about his legs a lot.  We fill him with as much love and reassurance as we can about our pride in his abilities and appearance.
  4. He is baby and he is boy – all rolled into one.  Diapers and cooing.  Preschool songs and bossiness. Needful of snuggle time and wanting to test the limits of his strength and agility.
  5. He is most definitely a dominant lefty – Grandpa H. rejoices (it only took 2 kids and 8 grandchildren!)  😉
  6. Faith is having a great time in familiar territory and yet is needing Mom and Dad to be close.
  7. Faith has really shown more interest in this little person than I have ever seen her take interest in a child before.  She’s really enjoying being a part of caring for him and playing with him.  
  8. James is struggling with the fact that he has a fair bit of independence on this trip and yet still needs supervision.  Boy – Man.  It’s a tough place to be.
  9. James loves his new brother.  Samuel reaches for him and asks for him to carry him.  Steals his glasses and James grins. 
  10. Grace is doing really very well.  She’s remembering amazing details suddenly about our adoption trip (we stayed in this same hotel) – things she adamantly refused memory of before haev now been brought to the surface.  She’s rolling with it very well and we are seeing our daughter blossom into a new settled place at times.  Amazing.
  11. Grace is very patient with Samuel.  This surprised us as we thought there would be more jealousy.  Samuel loves to stroke her hair but often will add a playful tug to a handful and she scolds him gently.  Today she told in a very mature way that she doesn’t mind him playing with her hair, but that we just need to work on helping him not pull it.  Wow! 
  12. Garnet is having a tough time shifting up a rung on the family ladder.  He is super kind to Samuel and goes out of his way to share with him and be kind and play. However, he sidles up to me whenever given the chance for an extra snuggle or a game of chopsticks.  It’ll take time and reassurance.  I also believe the visit to Yinchuan next week may help him too.  He’s anxious about the unknowns.
  13. Garnet is a super sharer.  He lets Sam have the last bite of a snack.  He wants to play on the floor with him.  He teaches him silly faces and like to make him giggle by tickling him gently on his little legs.  Samuel calls him Gege and that goes a long way in Garnet’s books. 
  14. Steve had a new experience today.  Samuel was in the carrier at the Dirt Market and wet through his clothing, the carrier and Steve’s jacket and shirt.  We happened to be in our favourite shop and the proprietor had remembered our family.  We were chatting and then she offered for us to change Samuel’s clothing and diaper right on the framing table (it’s a photographic print shop).  She even offered her winter coat to change him on and hand carried the stinky diaper outside to the trash by hand.  She was very sweet! 
  15. Another vendor saw Samuel’s runny nose (it was cold – it snowed today in Beijing!) and offered some of her toilet paper for his nose.
  16. The taxi driver we took back to the hotel cooed at Samuel in Chinese.  He also narrowly missed rear-ending a car when said car slammed on its brakes in order to avoid a bus at 80 km/hr on 2nd Ring Road. He saved us 27 RMB over our family’s other taxi by speeding and dodging though.  hehe
  17. One of the other children in our group calls Garnet “Barnacle” much to the chagrin of her parents.  She’s terribly cute.
  18. The kids are missing their cats.
  19. Grace has asked after home a few times. Such nice things to hear from a little girl who wasn’t sure which place she wanted to call home a short time ago.
  20. Have I mentioned that Samuel is FAST!  Oh, and agile?
  21. At the Dirt Market: Grace spent $14 Cdn (5 items – pretty and mostly wearable), Faith spent $11 Cdn (4 items – dainty and decorative), Garnet spent $1.50 Cdn (1 item that frightens me to no end – can you guess what it was?), James spent $30 Cdn (a pair of somethings that may or may not be removed by customs from his checked bag – any guesses?)  
  22. Our trip to the countryside is cancelled tomorrow.  We are visiting a new butterfly gardens here instead. 
  23. Your prayers, comments and e-mails have meant so very much to us.  Keep them coming!  We’ve been praying over things you’ve shared with us too.

Off to bed after some quick laundry in the tub at our 5 star hotel.  Motherhood…

12
Feb

What lovely locks you have, my dear!

Grace has been trying so hard to grow out her hair.  In the Spring, her hair finally kept clips in for longer than 15 minutes.  In the summer, with the help of those tiny micro elastics, she was able to have pony tails.  And today, finally, when we went to get our hair trimmed, our friend and stylist was able to french braid her whole head of hair! 

Talk about glee!

(Click on each of the photos to enlarge them.) 

 

3
Feb

How it Really is

 

From an e-mail I wrote this morning…

Hi Friend,

Ahhh, your blog has people calling me and saying certainly Grace and Grace’s friend must have some of the same DNA. Seriously! Okay, that isn’t exactly what they mean though. They are referring to the control issues, the anger, the sheer force of nature that is our girls experience right now.

I could’ve written every word that you have written lately. And that is why I haven’t Skyped or written or attempted to even call.

Am I a wimp? Yeah, maybe. How do I empathize without sounding negative? Some days drive me to the brink of the crazy house. And yet honestly we have come so far in a year. A year. And that is again, why I don’t write. It takes time. If someone had told me that we’d be fighting these battles still I would’ve burst into tears. I know why. I know it is logical. If I were chatting with another Mom and they were wondering why it is taking so long then I would have all the answers. But when you’re in the trenches, it is just hard to see it all clearly some days.

And right now Grace is fighting for control with all her being. We are facing her demons. The reality of the golden China that she dreams of is always looming for her and she knows or at least fears that it won’t be what she remembers. She is scared. I mean terrified. But we have to face it together. Hopefully on the other side of this trip she will have clung to us more and trusted what she can see without the mask of the confusion of the actual adoption clouding her vision. Really, when we visited the orphanage the day or so after the adoption, she was just plain shell-shocked and it was all rosy. And it’s only grown from there.

So as for talking with Grace’s Friend. Grace hasn’t been up to it. She has pushed away from her friends or at least the reality that her friends are actually adopted now too. It unnerves her. Of course it does. I think seeing that they are no longer in China will help draw her closer to the girls here in North America too. Perhaps finally she will see them as part of a shared experience.

All this to say that I am walking right beside you in this. Grace is struggling right now behind her brave face of control. Praying that once we are home again, we can begin again with her from a new place of understanding.

Love,

28
Jan

Catching up

So I think I am over my general feeling of malaise.  Now I am onto Full Speed Ahead.  Haha 

Thank you to everyone who commented and e-mailed to check in on me.  I really REALLY appreciate every word.  It’s so good to know I’m not the only one…

In the meantime, we made a quick trip to Grace’s specialist at the closest Children’s Hospital.  She’s doing really fantastic and somehow those words always put me at ease.  We visit that particular specialist twice per year and it’s easy to forget that there is even a need for the visit until just beforehand and then suddenly I get to wondering how things are beneath the surface.  As usual, those thoughts were for nothing.  And for that I am truly thankful!

We also celebrated a really big milestone birthday as James turned 15 this week.  Everbody says this about their kids, but How On Earth did He Get this BIG?  And how come every year we enjoy him more and more?  We are really thrilled with our young man and we had an absolute hoot the other night on our birthday date with him.  Accoring to a certain arcade game, we are Ace shots at killing giant spiders and leeches, but are not really all that compatible as mates.  Uh ,yeauuuuh?!  Lame plot line, but too funny laughing with our teenager.  🙂

I’ve been polling friends for tips on which size diapers or pull ups to bring with us.  Samuel is trained duirng the day, but we expect a regression (you know, hope for the best, prepare for the worst and all that…).  He’s about 20 lb.s and will be 3 (!) next Tuesday.  factoring in his limb difference, but knowing he’s a little guy has made me go a bit crazy.  Input welcome.  🙂

The realization also dawned that while we way over pack every time we travel, we also like to bring a lot of donate-able items.  But, on this trip, we will be flying into Beijing and then taking a bunch of domestic flights followed by an international departure via Hong Kong.  That means less than half our usual luggage allowance.  Not sure if our arrival into each city will allow enough time to shop for items to bring to each orphanage.  We’ll have to see…  Any tips (Americans!) on what you do when you fly into Beijing and exit via GZ or HK? 

We received our last monthly update on Samuel (which I will post separately) and it said something that made us curious.  Guess we’ll understand more once we meet him. 

We were able to Skype last Sunday night.  He is a total monkey boy (and we LOVE monkeys in this house).  He loves to climb all over the desk, point the web cam around, show us his belly button, flex his muscles, play peek-a-boo (his favourite), and accost the pig shaped light on the desk. hehe  We notice that his rendition of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” is getting clearer and clearer each week.  His new haircut is often styled by his nanny into a very manly swoop across his forehead and he is often dressed to chat with us in a sharp little sweater.  Very adorable handsome.  🙂  We have played with him this way for so many months now.  What a tremendous blessing – one we never dreamed of. 

I am ignoring the second half of my Chinese New Year cleaning by writing this post.  We are beginning CNY early this year as our church group is coming over tonight and treating us to some very yummy sounding homemade Chinese food.  Our contribution will be a little more western in that it will need to be picked up from our local restaurant shortly before the party.  🙂  Grace has told me that my version is just not quite right and so we jokingly order what we call Fake-Chinese food and don’t even try and pretend its the real thing.  I’m even serving Chocolate dipped fortune cookies from this site.  She has amazing ideas – totally worth the look!

I think I have just about come to the end of my catching up, but before I go finish catching dust bunnies (Hey, it’s the Year of the Rabbit – aren’t I clever?!), I want to make a quick mention about a very special little girl by the name of Sharaya.  Our friends the Berzenji Family is raising funds in order to bring their newest child home.  We travelled with them on our journey to Miss Grace and their daughter Jade Ping is Grace’s orphanage sister. 

Anway, back to Sharaya (don’t you just love her name?  Brings back memories of a certain Amy Grant song – and yes, I am that old.)  Sharaya is a young friend of the Berzenji family.  She has decided to raise money for their adoption fund and the Canadian Cancer Society by cutting off her beautiful, long tresses and not only donating the hair to make a wig to bless a person fighting their cancer, but is also taking pledges in order to give financially to this special family trying to bring home their child from China.  Who says kids don’t have great big hearts?  In addition, both she and Adrian (Baba Berzenji) are taking part in a Congee fast right now!  You can read all about it and all of these fantastic people on their blogs: Sharaya & Adrian’s.  And please, do more than read.  Won’t you encourage them with a donation? 

Off to herd up those bunnies….

And don’t forget to weigh in on the great diaper debate & luggage fiasco of 2011.  I could really use the advice.  😉

5
Jan

Grace-isms

Some of my favourites from today…

Grace began“peelahno” lessons tonight (very successfully I might add :)). 

On the way home Grace told me this joke (knock knock jokes are also a new favourite): 

Grace: Knock knock!

Mom: Who’s there?

Grace: Grace!

Mom: Grace who?

Grace: Grace! (Said with an air of disgust that I have already forgotten.  ha)  It’s your honey, Mom!

She loves that I call her honey – it tickles her something silly!

At bedtime I was helping remove her hair barrettes.  She said, “Thanks for taking out my clicks!”   Yes, well I guess her hair clips do make a “click” when the are opened and closed.  🙂

19
Nov

Giveaway to benefit Grace’s orphanage

An “e-friend”, as we call them in our home, is having a really (I mean REALLY) fantastic giveaway that ends today. 

All of the proceeds (100%) will go directly towards this family’s orphanage donation.

The really exciting part for us, is that this family is adopting one of Grace’s orphanage-mates, Kaleb.

Follow this link over to He Leads Us – Faith Walkin’ to Kaleb.

Anita is giving away an I-pod Touch, a bunch of Visa gift cards and lots more.

Won’t you take a look?

16
Nov

One Year Later…

On November 16, 2009, one year ago today, we anxiously waited for our tour bus to crawl through rush hour traffic on its way to the Civil Affairs Office of  Guangdong Province.

We nervously rode the slow elevator upstairs.

We shed our coats, readied our paperwork, prepped our cameras, held our breath.

And then there she was. 

Entering the room timidly from behind a curtain.

Smile firmly attached to her face.

My heart stopped.

I could not catch my breath.

There she  was.

I pulled her stiffened body towards me and embraced her gently.

She called us each by name.

We fumbled over hers.

She came to us bearing photos, gifts, memories of a life lived. 

We spent many minutes poring over the photos.

She would chatter away and point with her long slender fingers.

I think we all fell into shock.

This was no apparition.

Here was our girl.

Our daughter.

Our sister.

Our granddaughter.

Her Mother.

Her Father.

Her siblings.

Her grandparents.

She was so beautiful and intelligent and confident.

She had so many who had invested in her.

Who cared about her.

And suddenly the real little girl was appearing before us.

The pre-drawn image fell away and the reality was there.

And again, it took our breath away.

The beginning had arrived.

We love you little Grace Qiao.

And so we need you to know…

We love that you are such a strong young lady.

We love your direct spirit, your willingness to probe until you understand.

We love your imaginative artistry, your ability to strive for accuracy and creativity in your play.

We love that you have a whole pile of people who stand behind your need to grow and love and be loved.

And nothing, not an ocean nor a fractured language can ever stop these people from caring for you Miss Grace.

Because we are so blessed to know you and to be known by you.

“Forever and ever?”, you say.

Yes, sweetheart. 

Forever and Ever and Ever and Ever…..

With our whole hearts we promise.

Love,

Mom & Dad

5
Nov

Grace’s Friend is Coming Home!

I can’t even describe how excited I am for our new friends Barb & Mike

They just received their Travel Approval and are hoping to leave in about 3 weeks to bring their daughter, Nora, home.  

That special little girl is also very special to my little girl. 

{You might remember my posts here & here, which led to our amazement when this happened.}

They’ve shared many years in their orphanage together.

(Grace is on the far right and Nora is just to her left, holding the red lollipop.  The girls were about 3.5 years old.)

Nora has watched Grace leave.

And now it’s Nora’s turn.

PRAISE GOD! 

Hop on over to their blog and congratulate them, won’t you?

Let’s throw them a party to remember – something special to tell Nora about once she’s home!

(And just in case you are looking, I know of at least 2 more little girls from the same orphanage who are looking for their forever family… just thought I’d mention that!)
1
Nov

Halloween (the morning after)

This is what happens the morning after Halloween in our home. 

The trading begins.