When we arrived in at the Yueyang County SWI, we were let into the gate and pulled up in front of a shiny, new, several stories high building. The old orphanage had been only used for offices for some time, as the children had all been fostered in the neighbouring area. The new building was designed to house the offices and the children. We were told that the children’s home was still being furnished and completed, but that the children would be returning soon. They had begun building it shortly after we’d visited in February 2011 and had only moved in recently.
We took the elevator upstairs and were warmly welcomed by the staff, one of whom we had spent time with during our initial visit, as she’d come to process Samuel’s adoption. We were ushered down the hall into a meeting room. Samuel was much fawned over and we shared stories of his progress, as well as the photo book we had brought. There were many framed photos waiting to be hung on the walls of the new meeting room. They each featured returning families on homeland tour visits. It was fun to see all those photos of tweens and teens returning to visit their roots.
Samuel’s file was brought out without us asking and we were able to see original photos of him as an infant. The youngest photos we have of him to date. (He has hardly changed!) We appreciated the information we were offered and took photos of everything.
There was much laughter and smiling over Samuel’s attempts at showing off his new walking skills. There were also many gasps as he tried many stunts near the glass topped coffee table. We all were trying to protect his noggin’ from the tile floor and table! But, I think he got his point across. It had been a good idea to send him to Beijing and to have his paperwork processed for international adoption. We were happy to have them see him so full of little boy spunk and strength!
All of a sudden his foster grandmother came in holding a small boy’s hand. She was exclaiming in excitement to see us all again and we her! Big smiles, handshakes, hugs and happiness to see each other! The little boy (in split pants, much to Samuel’s amazement) was her grandson (25 months old). The last time we had visited, her son had just been married and this was his son.
Much laughter, showing off, snacking, and kisses ensued. Samuel was less than impressed with the kissing, but he was rescued by his Dad and all was well in the end.
We then headed off around the corner for a relaxed lunch. Samuel and his “cousin” faced off across the turntable at the table and had that food spinning. By the end of the meal, the little guy was fast asleep and Samuel was in a trance like state in the stroller. Both had full tummies and were surrounded by happy chatter and smiling faces.
Joining us at lunch was another staff member and her two “nephews” (according to our guide, “Stacy”), which were in actual fact nieces. The nieces had studied English in school and while they could understand much of what we said, much like myself with Chinese, they were too shy to use much of their English on us. I did manage to get the one girl to tell me that her English name in school was “Vivienne”. She blushed mightily and laughed behind her hand when I told her that Vivienne is considered a name for beautiful girls. She took the teasing well.
After a few photos at the orphanage gate, we headed to the foster grandparents home. Samuel enjoyed handing out his hand drawn pictures for them, as well as the photos and other gifts we had brought. He warmed up to his foster grandpa and shared the fact that his tooth is wiggly (he is convinced that it is a sign that he is growing up). He sat on his knee for a bit. They served us the best watermelon I have had in my entire life. It grows here in the south prolifically and really, as with all food, is best eaten close to its source! Samuel and his “cousin” played with the boy’s plasma car and other ride on toys. The family’s daughter came home and we found that she has also been married and is expecting. The son and daughter live at their parent’s home with their families. The little guy really warmed up to us by the end.
Samuel did not want to leave. I was so pleased that he enjoyed his time there. I did say to him as we left, “Can you believe you lived in this house when you were a baby?”
“No”, he said.
I understand. It’s a bit much for me to take in, let alone a 5 year old. After all, sometimes, it’s hard to imagine a time without him. And I suppose that is why these trips back to visit our kid’s homeland areas are so very valuable. It’s so important to not forget what is so integral to who they are. Not Chinese. Not Canadian. Not even, Chinese-Canadian. Rather, they are Chinese + Canadian.
Samuel’s foster grandma and cousin joined us for a quick photo op at the finding spot. And then off we went back to the city, exhausted and emotionally spent.
Was it too early for a return visit for Samuel? It all depends on what the goal was. Did he gain value and meaning of his past? Yes, but not at the same level as if he had been older. Will it provide continuity for his next few years as the questions get wider in scope and deeper in meaning? Absolutely. As I posted on Facebook, he has a deeper sense that this is his wider, global extended family. Because really, that is what they are. They are no less related than we are. The legacy of love they gave him from his infancy lives on in the way he has opened his heart to us.
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