21
Jan

I just feel kinda numb.

January 21, 2011

Okay, not completely numb, but just sorta distant and emotionless these days.  Vacant perhaps? 

I have felt this way each and every time a new child has been added to our family.  Birth or adoption.

I kinda wonder if it is simple self-preservation.  Or does it make me a bad Mom?

A friend mentioned tonight (and said it in a sort of self-depreciating way), that she is not the type to cry over movies a whole lot.  As though that would make her less of a woman.

Perhaps that is why I feel no small amount of guilt over my state of being right now.

I think at the heart I am simply overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed at the current to do lists, sure.  But mostly overwhelmed by the knowledge of the enormity of what is to take place in a few weeks. 

Change.  Transition.  For my son.  For our whole family.

It’s all rather daunting.

So, I hold it in.  And suddenly in those moments leading up to holding him in my arms, I will shake and tremble.  I will probably snap at my husband.  I will think of all the things I did not do to better prepare for that moment. 

And then it will all come together.  The puzzle piece will find its home.

And then I will truly feel.

 

7 Comments
19
Jan

The Journey of an LSC on its way to the CCAA

January 19, 2011
2011-01-13 10:37:00 AM Delivered via BEIJING, CN depot  
2011-01-13 10:37:00 AM Delivered via BEIJING, CN depot  
2011-01-13 01:35:00 AM On vehicle for delivery via BEIJING, CN depot  
2011-01-13 01:34:00 AM Shipment In Transit via BEIJING, CN depot  
2011-01-13 12:04:00 AM Import via BEIJING, CN depot  
2011-01-12 11:20:00 PM Import via BEIJING, CN depot  
2011-01-12 07:30:00 PM Departure via INCHEON, KR depot  
2011-01-12 12:35:00 PM Arrived at via INCHEON, KR depot  
2011-01-11 10:08:00 AM Departure via ANCHORAGE, AK, US depot  
2011-01-11 06:53:00 AM Shipment In Transit via ANCHORAGE, AK, US depot  
2011-01-11 06:23:00 AM Arrived at via ANCHORAGE, AK, US depot  
2011-01-11 05:31:00 AM Departure via ONTARIO, CA, US depot  
2011-01-10 10:27:00 PM Arrived at via ONTARIO, CA, US depot  
2011-01-10 08:13:00 PM Departure via SEATTLE, WA, US depot  
2011-01-10 06:32:00 PM Arrived at via SEATTLE, WA, US depot  
2011-01-10 05:50:00 PM Departure via RICHMOND, BC, CA depot  
2011-01-10 04:52:00 PM Export via RICHMOND, BC, CA depot  
2011-01-10 10:10:00 AM Arrived For Export Processing via VANCOUVER, BC depot  
2011-01-10 09:55:00 AM Arrived For Export Processing via Canadian depot  
2011-01-10 09:54:00 AM Picked up by Purolator via Canadian depot  
2011-01-10 04:31:00 AM Shipment In Transit via Canadian depot  
2011-01-07 02:57:00 PM Picked up by Purolator at Reception from  MINISTRY OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES 

 

Talk about a well travelled piece of paper!  Especially considering it had already travelled all the way here first! 

And a little eye candy from another sweet ex-volunteer at the foster home…

4 Comments
17
Jan

Learning Together at Home’s Big China Adventure 2011

January 17, 2011

So without further ado, here is our itinerary…

(I think Steve & I deserve a nap, don’t you?)

Feb. 15 – domestic Canadian

Feb. 16 –  Canada to Beijing

Feb. 17 – Beijing

Feb. 18 – Beijing

Feb. 19 – Hope to visit a certain place outside the city  🙂

Feb. 20 – Beijing to Changsha

Feb. 21 – SAMUEL DAY!

Feb. 22 – Adoption Day

Feb. 23 – Changsha (or Yueyang County visit)

Feb. 24 – Changsha (or Yueyang County visit)

Feb. 25 – Changsha to Beijing

Feb. 26 – Beijing (as Canadian’s our process is completed here this week)

Feb. 27 –  Beijing

Feb. 28 – Beijing

March 1 – Beijing

March 2 – Beijing

March 3 – Beijing to Yinchuan (Steve, Shelley, Garnet, Grace, Samuel) / Attie, Jerry, James, Faith stay in Beijing

March 4 – Yinchuan to Beijing (meet up with the rest of the family) (visit Garnet’s area)

March 5 – Beijing to Guangzhou, drive to Zhongshan (or train?)

March 6 – Zhongshan (visit Grace’s area)

March 7 – Zhongshan to Hong Kong (ferry?)

March 8 – Hong Kong (tour or Disney)

March 9 – Hong Kong (tour or Disney)

March 10 – Hong Kong to Canada

March 11 – domestic Canadian flight

Sounds a bit daunting, especially with a newly adopted 3 year old.  Poor little guy.  I’ll speak more to the whole decision process another time, but boy am I glad that we have finally booked those tickets!  It only took Stephen 3 hours on the phone with a very accomodating Air Canada staff member.  Whew!  Steve is a saint for walking this through!

5 Comments
15
Jan

Travel Plans… almost

January 15, 2011

Got you, didn’t I? 

Nope.  We’re still plugging away.  We have narrowed our plans down to three different options and are now pricing them out.  My head hurts.

We also have a houseful of teenage young men this weekend.  They are really great guys and I love having them here.  No really, I do!  But it has just hit me this evening just how blessed and amazing it is to be the Mom of an almost 15 year old and an almost 3 year old, all at the same time.  There is just nothing like having the giggles of the little guys in combo with the deepening voice of my almost man-child. 

So, while I am overwhelmed with the details tonight, I  just wanted to pause for a minute and be thankful. 

I am truly blessed.

And deeply grateful.

2 Comments
10
Jan

Travel Plans

January 10, 2011

Probably the number one question that any Pre-Adoptive Parent gets asked (after the ever present “Why”, which is a whole different post…) is,

When will you travel?

Finally, we have a better sense of things.

Our facilitator is expecting our TA to arrive before CNY!

We are being allowed to build our own itinerary and travel on our  own (we kind of form our own group with the 9 of us!) in order for us to visit our other kids’ provinces before unofficially meeting Samuel at New Day and then adopting him in Hunan.  We would then return to Beijing for our Canadian adoption process, as our Embassy is there. 

It sounds lilke the next travel group may not be until April and so we are trying our best to gather all our many months of pondering, build a plan and get on a plane the third week in February, with the hope that we can adopt Samuel at the beginning of March. 

At this point my head is swirling (although it may be the remnants of the flu) and we are trying to sort out what will be most important and what will be left for another trip.

We still need to file our requests for orphanage visits and that will help create a framework for our travel dates.  We also know we need to be in Changsha on a Monday for Sam’s adoption. 

My stomach is doing some strange butterfly dance and I am in awe that we are even at this point!

As for who will travel?

Our hope has always been that each of our kids at home could travel with us to meet our new little guy in person.  For months they have played with him over the computer screen, talked about him, made space in their home and their world for the addition of Sam.  And we can’t imagine a better way for Samuel to be welcomed than by the whole overwhelmingly, noisy, crazy bunch.  In order to make that happen on our last two trips, my folks have been able to come “herd the cats” (as Steve calls it).  And so far, that is what we are planning for.

We need to look at the costs and sift through everything first, but at this point we are doing everything possible to make this happen! 

So off I go to make lists, phone airlines, price hotels and trains.  And pray.  We need a whoooole lot of wisdom. 

We thought our 2010 Big Family Vacation was a big undertaking.  Little did we know God had an Ace up his sleeve waiting for us in China.

This trip should trump that one  by far!

 

2 Comments
7
Jan

Signed, Sealed, Delivered… (We’re) Yours!

January 7, 2011

Yes, it’s true! 

Our LOA is off to the provincial office and then to China as we speak!

We not only received our LOA in our agency’s office yesterday, but even with me laying in bed with the stomach flu, Stephen managed to rush down and pick it up, bring it home for our signing (NOT the beautiful photo-op for the grandparents’ Christmas calendars – ha) and rush it all back down to the agency.  And this was in the hour just before a rushed notary appointment to have Stephen’s Citizenship information verified (again!) for our application for Samuel’s citizenship. 

Ahhhh, all a part of his story now. 

Day 67 and suddenly it doesn’t matter a bit.  🙂

God has been so faithful through all this. 

Even with my roller coaster of doubts (how can we be the right familiy for this little one?) and down right panicked state at times (there’s just no way this will ever happen!), He has been faithful to what He promised us He would do.  And I am so thankful that His plan is better than our own.

As my Mom reminded me the other day, in the natural this all seems impossible but we are not dealing with only the natural here. 

And that is something to shout with joy over!

Now on to our wait for TA and then…

Samuel, Here We Come! 

 

8 Comments
4
Jan

LLLLOOOOOAAAA is on its way!

January 4, 2011

Our facilitator e-mailed me tonight to let me know that our LOA was mailed on New Years Eve. 

Yippeeeeeeeee!

It’s official (or at least it will be when that beautiful red embossed piece of paper finally lands in our provincial agency’s office for us to sign and return back to China!).

China has decreed that Samuel Ruicheng Joseph Peters is to be our son!

 

 {Certainly not the best photo we have of him, but even his little ears are cute, so what can I say?  It made the cut for posting.  ha}

Amazingly true story:

A friend from Grace’s  travel group (Roberta) was in touch with a friend of hers that attends her church.  That friend of hers is currently ministering in Afghanistan.  (keep following…)  That friend from her church that is currently in Afghanistan in working there alongside a person who has just come from a month of volunteering at New Day.  How’s that for a Red Thread?!  Anyway, this friend had a bunch of photos to share and some really great comments.  🙂

5 Comments
2
Jan

Sky*pe (Update) (Update on the update:))

January 2, 2011

Update #2:  For those of you who have been e-mailing me and waiting for news, here goes…  

I just heard from a couple of people we know in Ch*na and a couple of them have been told by their employers that Sky*pe and another service I was unaware of are being frowned at now.  They aren’t banned from it per se, but being discouraged from its use.  And that is why most of our usual contacts there were offline.  Guess we’ll be using QQ again, which is too bad as I find Sky*pe easier to use.  (I know… wah!)

 As for Samuel, I heard from the staff member that facilitates the calls and she let me know that it was a miscommunication.  She was given the day off and was unable to figure out how to contact us in time to let us know that she wouldn’t be able to be around for the call.  She did let me know that Samuel has been cauding them to crack up a lot lately as he is happily showing off his “big muscles” lately.  🙂  Sounds like calls will resume as usual next Sunday night for us.  🙂  WOOOOHOOOO! 

Update: Last night the director of his foster home e-mailed me and let me know that she hadn’t heard about a problem with Sky*pe and that she would look into it.  She’s not currently there.  Also, we were able to Sky*pe with one of Grace’s friends in the city where Grace is from.  This morning an e-friend let me know that her daughter had been able to Sky*pe with friends in her hometown as well.  All that to say, maybe certain folks are being cautious and maybe this had NOTHING to do with the internet at all.  Hoping to hear more today…  I also put in a very nice voice mail to our agencies this morning.  Now off to my “real” life and the Dr.  It would appear I have pink eye.  What a strange day!  {shaking my head and holding on to hope}

We have been beyond spoiled by Sky*pe.  That fabulous free tool has allowed our daughter to keep contact with her friends in her birth country and allowed us to grow a relationship with our son. 

And now, by all appearances, that season has ended. 

A few days ago, reports that Sky*pe and other non-State controlled video calling in Ch*na were ruled as illegal, send a chill up my spine. 

Tonight we waited and waited for our scheduled weekly visit with our son.

All we heard was silence.

No whimsical flower icon.

No smiling Samuel avatar.

No, “Heh-yoh”, in a sweet breathy little voice, microphone clutched in two chubby little hands.

The bucket of toys we had planned to play with him sits here beside me unplayed with.

The story book is unread.

I fully realize that we were spoiled by Sky*pe.

But we’re still crying.

What is Samuel going to think?

Oh please God, send our LOA soon.

8 Comments
20
Dec

Memories of Great Grandma on Day 50

December 20, 2010

Days since our paperwork was given a date stamp at the C*C*A*A* in China.  Chugging right along to our LSC….

We had the chance to watch Samuel see “Santa Claus” for the first time yesterday.  I don’t think “Santa” knew Samuel was Skyping in the office when he came to retrieve the presents for the preschool party.  They had to grab him real quick so he didn’t spin right off the office chair in his eagerness to turn around and see him!  LOL

Needless to say we had a fairly short visit with him this Sunday, but it was so amazing to hear that he was going off to be a Shepherd in the Nativity story that they were putting on.  A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. is all I have to say.

Stephen’s grandma went to be with Jesus this weekend and so we will be participating in the funeral.  When asked about our favourite memories of Grandma, Stephen remembered hanging around her house watching game shows with her (he didn’t have a t.v. at his house) and also how he could often score a cookie if he “helped out” in the kitchen while she worked on her baking.  🙂   My favourite memory was getting a phone call after we were engaged (at the Bible College – not easy for her to track me down) and asking me to come over for lunch.  She taught me to bake buns and she and Grandpa visited with me over lunch.  What a wonderful welcome into the family!  We all remember her telling the egg story (Stephen as a little boy on the farm) at our wedding and playing many games of Mexican Train.  Our oldest two kids remember her pouring milk and grape juice out of her glass pitchers and being allowed to sit up at the dining room table and use her pretty China dishes.  As Faith put it, “I’m SOOO glad that Great Grandma is with Jesus!”

It’s good to be with family this Christmas and to know our little man is being taught the most important story of all time.  My heart is very full.

Out of the many, MANY photos taken, this at least shows most everyone’s face on Stephen’s side of the family (When you have this many, sometimes that is all you can hope for! ha).  With the exception, of course, of grandchild #12.  🙂

1 Comment
14
Dec

What we’ve been up to

December 14, 2010

 

 

A visit to Santa, some very attractive gingerbread houses built with the help of my niece and nephew fairly inedible as we had to use duct tape and hot glue to make them stay together!), buying presents for our local community toy drive, making gifts for our extended family, sending Christmas cards, finishing up our schoolwork for this calendar year, entertaining packing lists for China, singing carols, and checking our my e-mail neurotically for our approval letter from China (LSC). 

It’s Day 44 today on the road to LOA… not that I’m counting.

 

 

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