{"id":1275,"date":"2011-01-21T23:13:14","date_gmt":"2011-01-22T07:13:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/?p=1275"},"modified":"2011-01-21T23:13:14","modified_gmt":"2011-01-22T07:13:14","slug":"i-just-feel-kinda-numb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/?p=1275","title":{"rendered":"I just feel kinda numb."},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/imagesCASUACZ4.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1278\" title=\"imagesCASUACZ4\" src=\"http:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/imagesCASUACZ4.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"180\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/imagesCASUACZ4.jpg 180w, https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/imagesCASUACZ4-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 180px) 100vw, 180px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Okay, not completely numb, but just sorta distant and emotionless these days.\u00a0 Vacant perhaps?\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">I have felt this way each and every time a new child has been added to our family.\u00a0 Birth or adoption.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">I kinda wonder if it is simple self-preservation.\u00a0\u00a0Or does it make me a bad Mom?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">A friend mentioned tonight (and said it in a sort of self-depreciating way), that she is not the type to cry over movies a whole lot.\u00a0 As though that would make her less of a woman.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Perhaps that is why I feel no small amount of guilt over my state of being right now.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">I think at the heart I am simply overwhelmed.\u00a0 Overwhelmed at the current to do lists, sure.\u00a0 But mostly overwhelmed by the knowledge of the enormity of what is to take place in a few weeks.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Change.\u00a0 Transition.\u00a0 For my son.\u00a0 For our whole family.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">It&#8217;s all rather daunting.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">So, I hold it in.\u00a0 And suddenly in those moments leading up to holding him in my arms, I will shake and tremble.\u00a0 I will probably snap at my husband.\u00a0 I will think of all the things I did not do to better prepare for that moment.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">And then it will all come together.\u00a0 The puzzle piece will find its home.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">And then I will truly feel.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Okay, not completely numb, but just sorta distant and emotionless these days.\u00a0 Vacant perhaps?\u00a0 I have felt this way each and every time a new child has been added to our family.\u00a0 Birth or adoption. I kinda wonder if it is simple self-preservation.\u00a0\u00a0Or does it make me a bad Mom? A friend mentioned tonight (and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9,29,13],"tags":[63,66,59],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1275"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1275"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1275\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1279,"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1275\/revisions\/1279"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.learningtogetherathome.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}