28
Mar

More on sleep

Yes, that is my theme-song these days.  🙂

You see, I have the sweetest, funniest, most loving, mischievious three year old on the planet.  But as I’ve mentioned before, he spends his days so intent on charming each and every person he encounters (even people in passing cars as we drive along!) that when he finally lays down, his sweet, sensitive, deep, old-soul self comes all but crashing down upon him and I think it is more than he can bear on his own.  My job, then, is to find ways to help him take those times in the midst of his awake time to pause and snuggle and calm and be still.  Brief times throughout his day just to be still.  Then at nap and night time, I have to find ways for him to feel connected to me and yet maintain physical safety.

As life would have it, he dearly wants to be with his big brothers in the “boy’s room”.  But he also wants his Mama.  Stephen needs to travel regularly and so co-sleeping in our bed is out of the question.  It’s just not safe for him to be there with me without another adult to make sure he doesn’t vault himself off of our bed in his sleep (as I mentioned, he moves all.the.time. in his sleep).  And sleeping in a toddler sized car bed with a child who (by anatomy or desire, I haven’t totally figured out yet) sleeps with his legs bent at a 90 degree angle from the hip makes for a rather unpleasant sleeping experience for his bed mate.  Especially when said child could easily outperform most gymnasts.  ha

So, off we went and bought a crib to put in our room.  I was thinking that if I had it smooshed up against the side of our bed he could be very close to Mama and yet be secure.  Steve and James went upstairs and built it (Our friends call assembling a crib a “marriage tester” – Can I get a witness?).  I bathed Samuel.  Then I brought him into our room to show him and see if he’d be interested.

Ummm, yeah.  Of course not.  {slap forehead.  again.}

He took one look at that thing and pointed.  “‘Nigh, ‘nigh bei bei!”  (He calls all baby beds / doll beds this.)

“Yes!  Samuel’s chuang!” (bed)

“NO!  Wo yao chee che chuang!” (I want car bed!)

And off he went around the corner into his room, muttering to himself, “Wo de chee che.  Wo de chee che.” (My car.)

And he allowed himself to be tucked in, read to, sang to, snuggled (“Twinkle, Twinkle”), nose and tummy rubbed, prayed with (“Ready!” – more on that for another post) and off to sleep. 

Yeah.  We just spent $XXX on a crib as a sleep aid.  And it was worth EVERY PENNY! 

Tonight we had a repeat, with the exception of a few tears (three or four seconds after closing the door with he and Garnet in the room) and then I popped back in to reassure him after 3 or 4 minutes of quiet.   After doing this 3 times, the fourth time he was no longer drowsy, but fast asleep. 

Let’s recap (for my memory in later years) my children’s sleep histories.

James: Hardly slept through the night until age 14 months.  We had routines and patterns we would follow – tunred ourselves in knots to help him and he would wake every hour to two hours. 

Faith: slept wonderful.  Almost went to be with Jesus at age 2 months from Whooping Cough.  Then had to sleep upright for 2 months in recovery.  Then was unable to sleep through the night until around 18 months.  Sleeping is still a challenge for her at times.  For her too, i think night time is when she does her best (or worst) thinking.  We do our best to pray with her and work out her stress before bed, but sometimes it is what it is and she has ways to help herself rest (music, special things).

Garnet: He is our dream sleeper.  The first evening we came home, put on his jammies, read a story, snuggled, sang, rocked and prayed and tucked him into his crib.  He rocked himself (his head) to sleep and woke up 9 hours later cheerful and lively as usual.  He had night terrors at a few momentous times in his first months (after EMDR therapy or after his English had improved enough to tell a bit about his time in China). 

Grace: Struggled with her memories and fears at nighttime.  It was heart wrenching.  The plus side, her loved ones in China were up at that time of day and so we had late night phone calls suring those early months home.  After six months home she was able to get to sleep around midnight and then sleep through until morning.  Since our trip to China, she settles in quickly and easily and sleeps through.  When morning comes she is generally cheery and ready to enjoy her day. 

Samuel, well Samuel’s story is still being written. 

I suppose the reason sleep has been such a focus for me this time is the fact that we are still so new to having four other children who sleep well.  It was a long year for Grace and for me.  I have consistanly been the one the kids want at night and so I guess I have been the most nervous about this area of adjustment. 

All in all, we will weather this new phase.  It all goes back to what we do in the day time to help the kids feel better at night.  And when I hold to that truth, things always seem to go better.

26
Mar

So tired

Are we.

Happy, but tired.  🙂

We go through our days, schooling and snacking, playing at the park, visiting friends. 

Life moves on. 

It has to. 

So different when you are adding number 5 to an already busy mix.

Thankfully we are in a slower time. 

Spring break. 

Well, not really for my kids (Didn’t they just have a month off?!).

“Wo yao Mama.”

That is what I hear throughout my days.

“I want Mama.”

He has a nervous tummy. 

I’ve been doing a fair bit of laundry.

Oh, and sleep? 

Not his favourite thing to do.

We share his car bed sometimes.

Or the floor.

Or my bed, if Steve is home to block off the other side.

He (Samuel, people) likes to roll around a lot in his sleep. 

Or should I say flip around. 

He’s even fast when unconscious. 

His voice. 

“Oh Tay!”

Sends goosebumps up and down my spine.

I love his voice.

And I love my baby. 

And now I’m off to see if I can find some sleep, before my baby awakes yet again.

Good night!

 

 

6
Mar

Yinchuan Touring photos

4
Mar

Challenging Day

We ended up travelling with all 9 of us to and from Yinchuan.  Samuel works better with everyone at his disposal and it was great to have everyone there to support Garnet.  Unfortunately, this morning, both girls woke up with bad colds.  Grandma is still recovering from one she caught last week (all three were sharing a room this past week).  Samuel refused food and slept through breakfast.  After his impromtu nap, he rose to the challenge and downed 4 sausages though.  We rearranged some of our plans and had a slower morning, a Hot Pot luncheon including an interview with a local journalist (“Surprise!” our guide sprung on us as we drove into the restaurant parking lot with sick and tired and rumpled kiddos – Oh well!) and a tour of the Wetsern Xia Tomb site and museum in the afternoon. 

This evening, we arrived at the airport and attempted to check in only to find that some of our tickets had odd comments attached and so we almost missed out on our flight, but for the diligence of our facilitator and our guide.  Yay!  Then we cleared security (they let Samuel be carried through this time and thankfully didn’t confiscate our liquid cold medicine or “Grandma Soap”/hand sanitizer) only to find that our flight had been delayed two hours.  Many odd gift shop food iems later, Samuel took a long crawling tour of the departures area and we finally made it onto the plane intact.  Half the kids slept or dozed.  The other half caught a meal on the flight. 

After sending four of us in the first taxi at the Beijing airport and almost being charged highway robbery for a van-taxi, we found a regular cab driver who would take the remaining 5 of us in one cab (the cabs are only supposed to take 4 passengers).

Arriving at the hotel we found out that our gear was still in our rooms, but our key cards no longer worked.  The front desk quickly made new ones up and after picking up some gifts left for us at the Concierge desk courtesy of our dear facilitator and friend, we made our way upstairs.

Soft snoring is calling to me from the other side of the room. 

Off to Guangdong tomorrow afternoon. 

Good Night!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please pray for health and rest for our bunch.

We received some information that we hope to persue for Grace, just this evening.  Pray that God would move clearly one way or the other on her behalf.

Pray for Jia Yi who I referenced in the other posts (Yinchuan).  She is a very special little girl who very much deserves a forever family.

Pray for my brother and his family who are holding down many forts with us all gone.  They are all very ill with strep and eye infections.  Healing, rest and encouragement for all of them. Love you guys.  Thank you for everything.  It had meant so much to all of us. 

Love,

3
Mar

Yinchuan CWI photos

3
Mar

Yinchuan CWI Visit

Garnet was treated as the returning hero.

He glowed.

The end.

Well.  Not really.

He had a banner with his name on it (“Welcome Back Huyan Baoer!”, in characters).  A crowd of people who knew him “when”.  Children who remembered him. Speeches.  A professional movie camera trained on him.  Gifts.  Baby photos.  His special Ayi was delighted to see him and ran out after him once we left for a few extra moments with him.  The director called the finding person and they came and held him, pointed out the EXACT place and details of his finding story.  Garnet got tears in his eyes (total joy) more than once. 

My heart actually felt it would burst for him.

He’s played second fiddle to the other kids’ stories for so long just by nature of a lack of information.   No longer. 

We were so proud of him.

I think I glowed too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We have video and photos, current medical info and eyewitness stories for Murong Yilan, Mu Rong Jin Bo and Jia Li.  We gave the updates to the staff (they were delighted).  We toured the physical therapy rooms and many other class areas (no sleeping quarters) and have photos.

Lisa, Garnet’s Ayi asked after Yang Yang too. I told her about both boys fishing trips.  🙂

E-mail me for a quick update to the parents of the children I named above and I’ll send photos and video once we are back in Canada (a couple weeks).  [email protected]

26
Feb

State of the Nation

We are all doing really quite well for only having been a family of seven for eight days! 

That being said, here is what that really means:

  1. Samuel is becoming more needful of Steve and I to be in close proximity to him.  He becomes more concerned if one of us has to leave the room.
  2. Samuel is eating and sleeping marvelously.
  3. We are completely out of his element and he hears people speaking about his legs a lot.  We fill him with as much love and reassurance as we can about our pride in his abilities and appearance.
  4. He is baby and he is boy – all rolled into one.  Diapers and cooing.  Preschool songs and bossiness. Needful of snuggle time and wanting to test the limits of his strength and agility.
  5. He is most definitely a dominant lefty – Grandpa H. rejoices (it only took 2 kids and 8 grandchildren!)  😉
  6. Faith is having a great time in familiar territory and yet is needing Mom and Dad to be close.
  7. Faith has really shown more interest in this little person than I have ever seen her take interest in a child before.  She’s really enjoying being a part of caring for him and playing with him.  
  8. James is struggling with the fact that he has a fair bit of independence on this trip and yet still needs supervision.  Boy – Man.  It’s a tough place to be.
  9. James loves his new brother.  Samuel reaches for him and asks for him to carry him.  Steals his glasses and James grins. 
  10. Grace is doing really very well.  She’s remembering amazing details suddenly about our adoption trip (we stayed in this same hotel) – things she adamantly refused memory of before haev now been brought to the surface.  She’s rolling with it very well and we are seeing our daughter blossom into a new settled place at times.  Amazing.
  11. Grace is very patient with Samuel.  This surprised us as we thought there would be more jealousy.  Samuel loves to stroke her hair but often will add a playful tug to a handful and she scolds him gently.  Today she told in a very mature way that she doesn’t mind him playing with her hair, but that we just need to work on helping him not pull it.  Wow! 
  12. Garnet is having a tough time shifting up a rung on the family ladder.  He is super kind to Samuel and goes out of his way to share with him and be kind and play. However, he sidles up to me whenever given the chance for an extra snuggle or a game of chopsticks.  It’ll take time and reassurance.  I also believe the visit to Yinchuan next week may help him too.  He’s anxious about the unknowns.
  13. Garnet is a super sharer.  He lets Sam have the last bite of a snack.  He wants to play on the floor with him.  He teaches him silly faces and like to make him giggle by tickling him gently on his little legs.  Samuel calls him Gege and that goes a long way in Garnet’s books. 
  14. Steve had a new experience today.  Samuel was in the carrier at the Dirt Market and wet through his clothing, the carrier and Steve’s jacket and shirt.  We happened to be in our favourite shop and the proprietor had remembered our family.  We were chatting and then she offered for us to change Samuel’s clothing and diaper right on the framing table (it’s a photographic print shop).  She even offered her winter coat to change him on and hand carried the stinky diaper outside to the trash by hand.  She was very sweet! 
  15. Another vendor saw Samuel’s runny nose (it was cold – it snowed today in Beijing!) and offered some of her toilet paper for his nose.
  16. The taxi driver we took back to the hotel cooed at Samuel in Chinese.  He also narrowly missed rear-ending a car when said car slammed on its brakes in order to avoid a bus at 80 km/hr on 2nd Ring Road. He saved us 27 RMB over our family’s other taxi by speeding and dodging though.  hehe
  17. One of the other children in our group calls Garnet “Barnacle” much to the chagrin of her parents.  She’s terribly cute.
  18. The kids are missing their cats.
  19. Grace has asked after home a few times. Such nice things to hear from a little girl who wasn’t sure which place she wanted to call home a short time ago.
  20. Have I mentioned that Samuel is FAST!  Oh, and agile?
  21. At the Dirt Market: Grace spent $14 Cdn (5 items – pretty and mostly wearable), Faith spent $11 Cdn (4 items – dainty and decorative), Garnet spent $1.50 Cdn (1 item that frightens me to no end – can you guess what it was?), James spent $30 Cdn (a pair of somethings that may or may not be removed by customs from his checked bag – any guesses?)  
  22. Our trip to the countryside is cancelled tomorrow.  We are visiting a new butterfly gardens here instead. 
  23. Your prayers, comments and e-mails have meant so very much to us.  Keep them coming!  We’ve been praying over things you’ve shared with us too.

Off to bed after some quick laundry in the tub at our 5 star hotel.  Motherhood…

4
Feb

Doing up CNY Flat-style

Have you all heard of the Flat Stanley series of books?  I highly recommend them for the early chapter book reader. 

My nephew Lane recently sent James and Garnet a “Flat Lane”.  He drew a small cut out picture of himself and sent it along with a letter.  The letter asked for James and Garnet to take Flat Lane on some adventures, document them and then send them back to him.  Lane then has to create a report and present it to his class. 

Here’s how it turned out:

#1

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

(Gong Hay Fah Choy)

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

(Shin Nyin Kwhy Luh)

Happy Lunar New Year!

I travelled to James and Garnet’s family and was just in time to celebrate the holiday with them. 

 It was exciting and a little dangerous. 

You can follow along as you look at the pictures in order.

 #2

Lunar Calendar

Many people around the world follow a different calendar than the one we are used to.  It follows the movement of the moon and has a 12 year cycle, with each year representing a different animal.  Have you heard?  This year is the Year of the Rabbit.  If you are born this year or are 12 or 24 or 36 or 48 or…  this year, you are said to be  lucky, kind and peaceful!

 

#3

Symbols of Blessings

There are many special foods and symbols that are eaten and used at this time of year.  Eating a whole fish is said to bring you more money.  Dining on long unbroken noodles will give you long life.  If you want happiness and good luck, then eating eggs and round fruits like pomelo and oranges are said to help you.  These oranges were delicious!

 

#4

Celebrating Spring

Lunar New Year marks the coming of spring time.  Many families have fresh foods and flowers around to celebrate the return to warm weather and a new growing season.  It’s not too warm here, so this family bought some flowers to add to their spring holiday. 

Aren’t I beeeeeeautiful?

#5

Getting Ready

To prepare for Chinese New Year there is lots to do!  I was there just as the family was getting ready.  They all got new haircuts, a new suit of fancy silk dress clothes, the house was cleaned from top to bottom and lots of food was bought and made, including jiaozi (yummy dumplings with all kinds of fillings!). 

                                 

#6

Bringing in the New Year is LOUD!

There is a story that talks about how the Chinese people were saved from a large and hungry Dragon.  By using loud firecrackers they were able to save their people.  In some places at the New Year, there are LOTS of firecrackers and even a dragon dance with people acting out the story!  I hear the family is going to watch a dragon dance soon, but I had to head back to school before it began.  I’m kind of happy as the one on the book scared me enough!  Whew!

 

#7

Gifts

My favourite part!  People like to give gifts at Chinese New Year, but they are different than the ones we give at other holidays.  Children and unmarried young adults receive Hong Bao (Red Envelopes with money inside).  Adults give each other flowers or fruit.

The family gave me some to share with you and your classmates!  The money they used is really yummy!

#8

Family and Friends

Lunar New Year is a time for family to come together.  People travel long distances to be together with their loved ones.  There is much laughing and chatter as families make the jiaozi or set off firecrackers.  I missed my friend Lane, so I asked them to mail me back to you.  Thanks for sending me on such an exciting adventure!

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

26
Oct

Catching up on an Amazing Day

Here’s my effort to catch up on a very full day as quickly as possible…

  • Woke up and saw a pile of photos in my inbox.  Samuel received our package.  He’s such a little guy.  To think it is only the beginning of his long life with us absolutely overwhelms me.  I’m so thankful.
  • Our facilitator called China to see if our LID was issued, and they have not received our dossier as of yet.  In response, they asked for and received our extension (1 month).  Sweet relief.
  • Met with our friend who hosted the Healing Prayer training.  Told her about Garnet’s healing.  Much rejoicing.  My faith was strengthened.
  • Stephen & I met with our kids’ pediatrician.  We’
  • We discussed a variety of concerns we have had with Garnet.  We’ve been waiting for this appointment for many, many months.  We are trying to get help for our busy, optimistic, tender hearted little man.  He heard us out, spoke back to us his own sense, and offered a life line.  We feel so affirmed. 
  • Faith’s birthday is next week.  Stephen & I managed to get out and do a bit of shopping.  We even threw in dinner (Burgers) & a movie (Red).  I remember love & laughter.

(The candy is not  for Samuel!  Just in case you Mamas are concerned.  Haha)

23
Oct

Modern Day Miracle

Follow my trail of thoughts….

10 days ago we received our son Garnet’s allergy test results. 

 

He was diagnosed with cat allergies.

Prescription: “Remove Cats”.

It was o.n.e. m.o.r.e. t.h.i.n.g.

 

I was in tears.

God spoke through someone close to me.

“Ask me for healing.”

 

I called a friend, who is known for her involvement in a local healing ministry.

I told her, “I want to believe.  I know he heals.  But for me?  For my children?  There was a time when he did not heal me.”

She replied, “Come to my home tomorrow.  I am training my new volunteers.  You can observe.”

 

And miraculously our usually hectic weekend schedule…

was wide open!

“Okay”, I told her.

Perhaps even more miraculous?

Stephen wanted to come too.

We needed God’s renewal.

A fresh wave of His Spirit in our home.

We observed.

We chatted.

We dined.

And then it was time to go.

“Let us pray for you before you leave”, said our friends.

They prayed.

The Holy Spirit was very much felt by us. 

Burdens were lifted.

Hearts encouraged.

We went home.

We peeked at our son’s skin.,

usually covered with eczema.

It was the same,

but we held onto hope. 

We had asked Him for healing.

The next morning.

I looked again.

His skin,

IT WAS CLEAR!

I ran my hands over his arms,

his legs.

NOTHING.

Absolutely no Eczema.

I watched him this week.

No cortizone creams.

No allergy medicine.

He hugged our cats.

In shorts.

With a bare tummy.

The eczema that he had had since the day we met him in China

was gone.

It’s stayed gone.

It’s never before stayed away for this long.

 The tip of the iceberg?

I wonder.

{Photos taken in early October 2010.}

{My Dad took Stephen & Garnet fishing.}

{Garnet caught his first (4!) fish that day.}

{Stephen even tried using Garnet’s rod and yet with much laughter on the men’s part, Garnet continued to catch fish!}

{Garnet also  staunchly refused to touch any of his big catch.}

{When he finally braved up to it, well, take a look at his face in the last photo.}

{“Ewwww – they’re slimy!”}